Something I’ve learned

First I want to point out that there are no hard feelings towards any of the men I am refering to in the following post.

I cannot be really open about my D/s wants and needs in my real life. I’m trying and making a bit of progress, but I can not talk openly about with my friends or family.
I love my friends. They are wonderful people, but most of them, I’m sure, wouldn’t understand.
For a long time I didn’t even know what I wanted. What was missing from in my life. But I’ve discovered, step by step.
And then I finally all of you wonderful people on Twitter. I felt like I could talk about anything and everything.

My ex (the DaddyDom) was the one who showed me Twitter. He only used it for his vanilla account and so I wasn’t really allowed to talk to him in the open timeline. Especially short before my last trip there. He’d make delete @replies because people might see and figure out that he was my Daddy.
I begged him to make a non-vanilla account and he did. But there he was being all weird and not real.

I had no idea that it’s been upsetting me that much until I was also so frustrated with my last Sir that I broke things off. Yes, he would talk to me, but also here I was not allowed to be open.

Both of those men had good (or better) reasons.

It took me a while to understand that I cannot do that. I cannot “hide” in the one place where I can actually be myself.

I don’t need my relationship (or whatever you might call it) to be all over my timeline. But it’s clear to me now that I also cannot be just a random follower, who never gets talked to, or a “just” friendly one.