When I was a teenager, my mother used to tell me that I should not allow guys pay for me (drinks, cinema, date etc.). The reason she gave me: If they pay for me, I “owe” them something. By something she meant sex – or things of that nature.
I always nodded, thought “Yeah right, mom” and didn’t think about it.
I never gave it much thought. But the truth is that I did listen to her and it seemed to have gotten through to me, without me even knowing it.
Now, when I look back, I understand that it also made me part of the person I am today.
Whenever I went out with a guy, I never expected him to pay. I was ok paying myself. And I think that is a good thing.
And if he insisted on paying for me, I would feel guitly, in a way. As if he gave me something and I should give him something in return. Because I “owe” him…
Nice work, Mom!
But only recently I understood another thing and that shocked me.
When I do sleep with a guy then I expect him to pay. It’s only logical, you see.
But something different shocked me even more.
I never had a problem for paying for me and the guy. If I can ask a guy out then I can also pay for him.
But if I’m paying for him I expect to get fucked. And I am disappointed if I’m not.
I know that my mother’s intentions were right. She looked out for me and wanted me to be aware of the signals I send out. She wanted me to understand how men think.
But it seems, she also taught me to think like a man. 🙂