I am frustrated.

I love to cum. Since the first time I came. It’s such a wonderful feeling. The moment before, when I already get happy because I know that it’s about to happen.
The actual seconds, which feel like flying and like little fireworks inside me. And then this peaceful feeling afterwards.
I am sure you all agree with me. Cumming is great.

I don’t have a problem with not cumming. I mean, I don’t HAVE to cum when I have sex or during play.

But something that frustrates me more and more as I get older and wiser 😉 is that I seem not to be able to cum during sex.

I mean without a helping hand…
I would like to be fucked and cum because of the cock in me and not because I play with my clit. Or the guy plays with my clit (which usually doesn’t help, because they can’t concentrate on my clit and being close to cumming themselves.) Or have a vibe down there.

I am so tired of always having to play with myself during sex. So I sometimes just don’t even bother. But then I think to myself “Why shouldn’t I cum too? Why does the guy get to experience this and I don’t?”

It makes me sad. But So far I haven’t not found a solution.

Only twice in my life, and I have been with my share of men, I came during sex. So I know, it is doable. But I don’t know how.

I told this to most of the guys I’ve been with. And each and every one of them said:”I will make you cum during sex. We will work on it.” Guess what, not one of them did…

I talked to women who were not able to orgasm at all or only when noone was around.
I’m not like that. I don’t mind if people watch me. I even like it.

I am frustrated and I felt like sharing it.
And I am open for suggestions.


  1. Principal_Allen

    I think it is important for you to find an angle that stimulates your clit during sex. If you have to work at it manually, why shouldn’t you? I for one like having a girl
    play with herself during the act, its very sexy to know you are giving yourself pleasure and getting ready to climax.

  2. Gb

    Maybe the act of sex isn’t starting early enough. I mean are you being turned on early enough eg in a public place. Foreplay can be a mental thing that leads to a physical thing. Also your man should try getting you to the edge of climax and keeping you there, only then when your desperate should he satisfy himself and cum inside you which in my experience will give u the best chance at orgasming with him

    1. Hi and thank you.
      Cumming together with him is not what I am talking about. Of course that is wonderful, but so far I am concentrating on cumming. Everything will be worked on later 🙂
      Also, I made the experience that once I am very close to orgasm and I don’t get to cum, I am thrown back and have to start again from the beginning.
      I hope that makes some sense.

  3. Have you ever managed to make yourself cum with a dildo? Or, is it that during alone time, you always revert back to “tried and true” methods.

    When I’m with a new partner, I spend lots of time fingering her (when not spanking her, or clipping her nipples, or any of the other fun stuff that new partners always need), so see just how she responds when something is inside her. That way, I can ensure that I’m hitting the “right spots” as I fuck her

  4. It’s really more common than anyone thinks! And more common than most people will admit, especially guys. Guys like to tell people how amazing they are in bed, and a lot are, but more aren’t. And it’s not just a practice thing either. Every woman is different, so a guy that’s been able to make one woman cum, may never be able to make the next woman cum.

    There are two things that can be done to help you both along the way. It’s not guaranteed, but it helps.

    First is, obviously, foreplay. A lot of men think foreplay involves a grope of the boobs, maybe a finger or two and then BAM! Mr Happy goes diving! Men often forget that it’s a journey to a woman’s climax, instead thinking it’s the destination that’s important. That’s great for us guys, not so much for the ladies. Effective foreplay is fun and guys really have to get their heads round this fact. A lot of men also have their signature techniques. The foreplay “tricks” that have “always” worked for them. If a guy has a think about it, his signature techniques do NOT always work. Every woman is different and it’s up to the man to explore their partner and discover the things she enjoys most (and that’s not necessarily the usually accepted erogenous zones). That means making love to all the woman’s body. Try it guys! It really is satisfying when you hit the right spot.

    The second is far more important on the female side of sex. A woman has to know what she likes. If she doesn’t, how can a man hope to know? A woman has to explore her own body, find her own responsive areas. Using your fingers, toys or just filing away in your internal notebook when a guy hits the right spot. Once you identify the areas that work for you, you are better able to maneuver a man to those spots. And don’t be afraid to let the man know! If he’s not hitting the right spot, he has to be told otherwise things will never improve. You don’t have to be nasty about it. A simple “That’s nice, but if you do this … That’ll REALLY get me going” should do the trick and won’t damage the guys (extremely fragile) sexual self-esteem.

    At the end of the day sex is there for both of you. You both need to enjoy it. The whole thing. Every single second should be enjoyable for both (or however many 😉 ) parties are involved.

    Phew! That was, like, an essay! Sorry to have stolen the thread and I hope it helps someone.

    Twitter: @DynamoTung

  5. Not necessarily a long term solution, but have you tried multiple guys, like with a “train” or gang bang? Or is it an excitement issue and maybe if you put yourself in more risky, say, for example, public situations where your excitement level is higher?

  6. Pingback: Frustrated – again | Lillith's Blog

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