There´s a topic in my TL which seems to be on the mind of several women. Almost every day there´s someone mentioning her partner/play-partner/Dom/etc. not having (enough) time for them.
Before I start with my thoughts, please let me say I know that every relationship is different and I am not trying to tell anyone what to do.
Anyhow, reading how someone is waiting for a call brings me back to a relationship I was in, with P. It went on for about 2.5 years. It was a long distance relationship.
We all know that communication is a very important part in a relationship. Even more so when you are not in the same city and able to see each other often.
When you are apart you need to find time together. Maybe even set dates.
Back to P and me.
He used to work from home mostly, but still could not find a lot of time for me, I´m not talking about times when he was busy with work. I´m talking about an average day.
We had a time difference of an hour. So, when he´d wake up I would be awake already.
I was more free in the mornings to chat and play, but he would rather sleep in and then go out for breakfast. By the time he was home, I was offline. And when we found a date and time for “us”, he´d be late or suddenly remember that he had to leave early. But he liked making a big deal of it when I was late or had to go.
He g ave me the feeling that he´s doing me a huge favour by finding time in his “busy” schedule.
For a long time I kept thinking that he must like me otherwise he would’ve already broken up with me. (And that is the part I don’t understand. Why make someone wait? Especially if you don’t really care for that person. And if you do care, why make that person wait?)
I could go on and on. More examples. But I won´t bore you with it.
But instead I will tell you that I´ve learned from it.
On the one hand I´ve learned to be patient. On the other hand I also learned when it´s enough. I now know what I am willing to give and what I am willing to accept.
Someone who is keeping you wait and then shows up for just a few moments is not worth waiting. If you spend most of your time waiting then stop waiting.
Being with someone like that is not healthy.
It might hurt a lot to stop waiting for him and move on, but I also know that staying and waiting will hurt at least the same if not more.
I hope no one of you has to make a decision like that. But if you do and you realise that he’s causing you more pain from being in your life by not being in it than from not being in it at all, in that case I wish you strength and friends, who will help you. And most of all that you’ll find someone who is worth waiting for and who will also wait for you.