I had started to make plans with a “special” friend for this weekend. I was very much looking forward to see him again. Talk to him, laugh with him, feel him, smell him.
But unfortunately he was not able to visit.
So I began making new plans. I set up dates with friends in town. Yet, it felt like they are only a second choice to me.
Two of my friends invited me to dinner at their place for Friday evening.
It had rained here on Friday, but when it was time for me to go the sun came out and I decided to walk rather than drive or take public transportation.
I rarely walk, by myself, without being distracted by music or phone. I took the chance and enjoyed my walk.
It smelled of rain and cleaned air. As I walked, I looked at the other people.
There were girls, trying to walk in high heels. And guys, walking behind those girls, staring at their ass.
It made me smile.
There I was, walking, smiling, looking forward to a nice evening, when I suddenly saw him. He was walking towards me. I think the first thing I noticed about him was the cigar in his hands.
I’m not a big fan on smokers, but in this case it fit. (And I have to admit that since I heard of Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky and the cigar, I have been curious.)
He looked at me and we both smiled. And suddenly there it was. This electricity. I can’t really describe it. It’s that feeling you have when you start flirting with someone form the other side of the room. When your eyes meet and you know the other one is interested in you.
It’s the feeling you have that very moment before the first kiss. You know it will happen, because your lips are about to meet and yet you are, kind of, nervous. (I love that moment.)
We walked past each other. Smiling. I continued walking and I could feel his eyes on me. So I turned around and there he was looking back at me again. A new, much bigger wave of electricity went through me.
I turned around again and continued walking.
I didn’t act on it and neither did he. I don’t regret it.
I don’t think anything would came out of it.
Now that I look back at my weekend, I can say that I had a wonderful time. I was with friends, I met new people, I laughed.
And I had the chance to experience that wonderful moment and to feel wanted.