The gentleman

The gentleman

anonymous man with crystal glasses in hand
Photo by Maria Orlova on

I’ve tweeted about him in the last couple of days. But because he amazes me, I have to write about him.

It started with me making fun of some “experienced dooms” from CollarMe. So one of my followers suggested to try out OKCupid. I already had a profile there, but was not active, at all. But I logged in. Put up a pic, wrote some stupid things about me, answered question after question.

And what do you know! The visits and messages started coming in. Most of them with the nature of sex and the question when. I talked to a couple of guys, but no one caught my attention.

I changed my profile. Saying that I am into D/s and that it’s mandatory that he is as well.

Other guys started writing me. All the things me, and so many other women, got used to over the years.Starting off with telling me what to do and calling me names.
Then an new group opened up to me. Guys who have no idea about D/s, but wanted me to teach them.
Not gonna happen.

I did feel bad for them. Maybe they wanted to know. But how can you teach someone to be a Dom? Either you are or aren’t. I’m not the right person to do that. Mostly, because I have no interest in it.

Then I got a message, which I was already about to delete. But the guy in the pic was way too good looking for that.

He asked me whether, as a sub, I can enjoy anal sex.
I wasn’t sure what he was asking. Or trying to find out. But for some reason we started talking.

We talked about sex. Which is not a surprise. But the interesting thing was that we also talked about other things. He respected it when a topic came up I didn’t want to discuss. And didn’t keep asking when I said it was too personal.

He told me that he’s not a “pro” in D/s and has little experience. But the way he asked about it and the opinions he had showed that not only was he interested, he also seemed to understand and feel it.
As an example: I told him about “Dom” right away telling me what to do, just because I’m a sub. He wondered how that is possible. Don’t you have to know the sub pretty well first?

And there I was thinking common sense vanished. I guess I was wrong.

I don’t feel pushed by him. Into anything.

When I said something about his voice, he didn’t suggest a phone call.
When I asked whether he’d like to meet, he said:”No, later.”
Why? Because he wants to connect and get to know me first.

I, on the other hand, think about hearing him, seeing him, touching him, feeling him. I feel like I’m the one being pushy.

And now I have finally understood that I should enjoy to take it slow, to get to know each other and understand him as well as be understood.

Why am I not like that? Because I’m not used to it. I’m used to “Let’s meet”, “Let’s fuck”, “now”.

But honestly, I really want to get used to this gentleman.

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