The other night, after having sex, I was frustrated.
I was so frustrated that I cried.
I didn’t cry because of the man or the sex.
I love H and I very much enjoy having sex with him. Even more so, since we discovered that he enjoys spanking about as much as I enjoy being spanked.
He is wonderful.
I am frustrated with myself. More so, with my body.
There I am, aroused, having a cock moving in and out of me, his hands on my body.
My head is set on sex. Yet I cannot cum.
Not until I either use my fingers on my clit or a vibe.
Or he does it. But I have found that men often cannot concentrate on too many things. So either the cock of taken out or the thrusting stops/gets slower.
All of the above actions are still no guarantee that there will be an orgasm for me.
The other night, the hands didn’t help, so I too the vibe. It didn’t help either.
So I got frustrated. All I could think about was the question: Why can’t I be like other women?
Why can’t I simply cum from regular sex? What is wrong with my anatomy?
I don’t want to ALWAYS have to do it myself! I just want to fuck and cum. Like normal people…
Usually it doesn’t bother me much. But the other night it did. Just like it did before, last time I wrote about it.
And still does.
Hey don’t get frustrated – that can only make things worse!
There’s a lot I would like to say as both a doctor and Daddy/Dom, but perhaps more privately. Maybe we could DM on twitter sometime.
You are perfectly right. Each woman’s anatomy is different as are her triggers for orgasm, both physical and mental. I think nearly every can come from fucking if she gets in the position where the cock pounds her G-spot (which sorta is the root of the clitoris). Often it is not missionary position unless your legs are pushed up over your head. Often the best position to cum is riding cowgirl or doggy. I suggest find the position you do cum from, and make that the position during the sex so you cum. Some girls want to stop sex after cumming, like guys cause the sensivity is painful, but I would always make sure my girl cums rather than me even if that is the result.
I hope that helps a little Lillith
I’d say there is no such thing as a normal woman, and afak there are a lot of women that regularly don’t come from heterosexual intercourse alone. So it is probably unnecessary to add the feeling of not being “normal” to the frustration of not having had an orgasm. For the latter I think there is a lot of tips floating around, and I don’t have anything to add, really.
I believe that most women don’t cum from just being penetrated but they don’t talk about it. Maybe they would even lie about it and say that they cum even though they don’t. Why? Maybe because they feel just like you: my body is supposed to work, sex has to lead to an orgasm, this is “normal”, this is what is “expected” of me. And since women tell that they cum (some do cum, some don’t admit that they don’t), those who don’t feel frustrated and not normal.
I found this book quite encouraging when I was frustrated about the same problem (a stupid report on a TV show caused this frustration): http://www.amazon.de/Ich-komme-wann-ich-will/dp/3492243096
I haven’t finished it yet but the first chapters reduced the frustration. I can tell you: I have the same problems and maybe it’s even worse: when I use my fingers during sex I can’t “focus” on the good feelings that make me cum (haven’t tried a vib yet) so I only cum when I use my fingers or a vib without sex.
I will continue reading the mentioned book and maybe the techniques described in there can help me.