When I was a teenager some of my boyfriends complained about the fact that I do not communicate well. That I don’t like to talk about my feelings and needs.
That is true.
I was even annoyed by their need to talk so much.
Time has gone by and I have changed. Although I still find it hard to talk about my feelings and needs, I did improve my general communication skills.
Then I met different kind of men. Those who told me that I was needy – because of my desire to communicate.
So I tried not to want to talk or communicate on another level. I repressed my desire and my worries when I didn’t hear from him for some time.
Again time has passed and it gave me time to think and understand myself and my wants and needs.
I understand that there are times when a person is busy or not able to call or chat. I myself have days when I’m not even online or have so much to do that I’m too tired to have another conversation.
Still there always is one minute to text, email or whatever to say that one is busy.
Because if you don’t have this one minute for a person then this person is not a priority.
And if I’m not a priority then please don’t waste my time.
If I am asked to wait I will. But I cannot wait in silence.
My need to talk is not simply because I am such a talkative person and need a man around me all the time. No, the need comes from a fear. The fear that I am not important, not wanted, not a priority.
I’m not asking to be the only priority! I’m asking to be one of them.
I’d like to quote something I RTed the other day on Twitter:
“No Calls ? I Understand . No Text ? I Understand , But When You See Me With Someone Else Please Understand . (@MeekMill)”
This is not directed to anyone specific. It’s a general thought I have been having for a long time.