The secretary

The secretary


For some time now I wanted to write about this movie. But somehow I never got around to it.

The first time I saw the movie was a couple of years ago. Just right after I started working as a secretary. I tweeted about my job and got replies which led me to the movie.
Since then I have seen it over and over and with every time I find something new.

There are quite a few things that I like about it.
For example, it shows perfectly that also the Dom can struggle with his desires and fantasies. Over the years I have talked to several men, who told me that it took them a while to accept that they want to hurt a woman. (Within play)
And the submissive can be and usually is a very strong person. It is easier for her to be what she always wanted to be and to gently push him to become who he is inside.
It simply shows the dynamic of a D/s relationship how I picture it myself.

It is a wonderful movie to show to a potential new partner and see how he/she reacts. It’s not about sex. It’s about the beauty to be different and happy. And not to be afraid of what others might think.

There is one point though, which I dislike. The female character is a cutter. And it seems to me sometimes that her submitting is just another “illness” which takes the place of the cutting. I know that it can be explained differently, but it’s something that bothers me.

My conclusion is that everyone who hasn’t seen the movie should watch it. And everyone who already did, should watch it again. I know I will.


  1. It was a very long time I wanted to see that movie, but it seem very difficult to find it in France: the sites where it’s currently available don’t accept French orders, due to political restrictions.
    May you tell me where you have found it, and if you may resend me a copy, to help a fruitful discussion about that historical document on BDSM?
    I love your Blog, and would appreciate an open chatting about it …

    Sincerely and very friendly,
    Jehan Francisco

  2. El loco gato

    Always thought of it the other way around, her being a cutter because she could not live the way she wanted (or even knew she wanted) and needed to stress relief/let off steam. If our basic needs/urges aren’t satisfied we tend to go bonkers…

    Just my .02

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