When I started my journey into BDSM and began to understand that the things I desire and dream about are perfectly normal, I found myself fantasising and reading about stories which had protocol in them.
The idea of the first thing doing after entering his home to be kneeling excited me.
I liked the idea to be on my knees, with my hands behind my back, my head lowered and my eyes looking to the floor.
I enjoyed the thought of having to stand in front of my Dom and being inspected, whether I did a good job shaving, for example.

As I lived out more of my fantasies and desires, I realised that I’m not that big of a fan of strict protocol.
I don’t use lowercased letter when talking about me and I don’t capitalise letters when talking about him. I do have to admit that I do wrote Dom and sub. That kind of stuck with me. Also, when writing in German, it works differently. But all in all I am more concerned about grammar than lower and upper case and what it could mean. Just an example.
I will never refer to a man as “Sir/Master…” every single time I talk to him.
It’s just not me.
I know I will never care whether I shaved every hair off. Simply because I don’t wear my glasses in the shower and that makes shaving hard enough.
I will also never care whether I looked at him when I shouldn’t have and wasn’t addressed. Because I like looking at my man. And I know that one look can often say more than a thousand words.
And I will never care if I am kneeling right. Because I have not the slightest idea how I hold or shouldn’t kneel.

Of course the thoughts still excite me and a couple of things I automatically do. Like having my hands behind my back.
And yes, I do enjoy a story every now and then which has much more protocol in it than I’d be interested in. And I am fascinated by couples that actual live according to a certain protocol and make it work.

But for me, I know, that it’s nothing I would be happy with. In the long run.


Come and see what others are thinking of protocols



  1. We have a couple of protocols in place and even though He does not check every day whether I have done what I should do, the things that are in place make me feel safe. What I love about this world is that we are all so different. There’s no right or wrong way.

    Rebel xox

  2. AfterDesire

    Protocols like any other language games they have syntax and semantic, some people stay at syntax level, and some others they go deeper and deeper in the semantics. I wonder if there is any end.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: