Thus summer I joined another, kinky, dating site. I’ve heard a lot about the “Sklavenzentrale”, but never took a look. I have had problems with German Doms and wasn’t too interested to interact with them.
But I was bored and felt neglected, by both men I played with this summer.
So I signed up, uploaded a pic and the messages started coming in.
I began regretting my decision to be on that site. I took a break. A lot of messages stayed unanswered. But there were quite a few men I talked to. Even over a longer period.
By that time I haven’t heard from “Daddy” in weeks, so I assumed that it was over and moved on.
About a month ago one message caught my attention. He wrote something about how my blog is interesting. To be honest, I don’t really remember. But it felt good. And I love people commenting on my blog. Also, it shows that he took time to actually read my profile.
At some point I commented on him not being like others. Being more classy, seeing me as a person first, not only a sub. He replied that all those men make it so much easier for him to be special.
So we wrote for a while and soon exchanged email addresses and photos. And I was pleased with what I saw.
The rest of the day, and the next one, we kept writing back and forth. About all kinds of things. After two days we exchanged phone numbers and kept chatting on WhatsApp. It took a few more days and a minor accident for us to actually speak on the phone. From then on, we started planning to meet.

And there was the problem. I have been looking for someone in my area. Preferably someone in my town. I´ve done long distance (England, USA) and I didn´t want that anymore. Then I met people from around here, but it didn´t click (at least not for me) or it didn´t work out.
So there was this man. He caught my attention. I could go on talking to him about all kind of things, not only kink. Someone who seemed to be interested in the real me as well as Lilly. Someone who understood me, had similar ideas, thoughts. But he lives more than an hour away, by car. That was not what I planned.

Nonetheless I agreed to meet him. I was quite busy with personal things, but couldn´t get him out of my head. We found a day which worked for both of us and a time.
We met, with some trouble and me being late (of course). We walked for a bit, had lunch together. Talked, laughed. He kept looking at me. Staring even. I pointed out that I was uncomfortable with it. But that wasn´t true. I enjoyed having him look at me.

After lunch we walked some more. Laughing a lot.
We sat down by the river. That was the moment I felt it getting more serious. But I wasn´t there yet. We walked some more and there was this moment when he kissed me.  I didn´t kiss him back properly.
He felt it, I think.

I told him about my worries, about him not being close. He kissed me some more.  But he saw that my brain was working, thinking. We walk a bit more and talked. It was time for us to go our way, he gave me my first task.
Till the end of the week I had to decide whether I wanted to be with him or not. I already knew the answer to it there and then, but my head told me to wait, think about and not rush into anything.
The next few days, I was on vacation, I took time to think, but also talk to a friend. The things t´he pointed out and the thoughts in my head only helped me with my decision.
He didn´t push me into anything. And I am sure that if I would have said that I need more time, I would´ve given more time.
But deep inside I knew what I wanted. Knowing all the problems which might come our way, all the complications.
As soon as I could I told him that I wanted to be his. I wanted to be owned by him. I needed to make him feel proud of me.
I wanted to be his submissive and he wanted to have. He too thought a lot, but came to the same conclusion as I did.

Fortunately,  we even managed to spend a night together, but that is something for another blog post.

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