That´s what I do when I get really bored

That´s what I do when I get really bored

I have profiles on different dating sites. Some more kinky, some less. And like with everything else on the internet, I have met a lot of very nice people there and probably even more idiots.
Usually I ignore them, but once in a while I get bored or need some fun and answer those guys.
I believe that most of those men wouldn´t even dare to talk to a woman the way they do. But with the anonymity of the internet a lot of things become possible.
So, Saturday late in the evening I got a message from a guy which I decided to ignore first, but then he sent me another one. I answered him the next morning, saying that I was not interested and from that moment he could not stop messaging me. So I decided to share this experience with you.
It all was in German, so I will translate our conversation. And the italic script are my side notes.

So please, lean back and enjoy.

Just as I started writing the chat, he sent me another message.

As stated before, he approached me with the following message:
Him: If you give me a chance I can be very dominant.
I checked out his profile and decided not to react. So he wrote again.
Him: I´m not into BDSM really, but it´s something new.
Next morning I replied with something like that.
Me: Thank you for your message, but I´m not interested. 1st you´re too young for me. 2nd I´m not interested in experiments, I want something real. 3rd You´re not my type.
The guy is 25, I´m 30. I often find that even with men my age I have not much in common. Not saying that I´m smarter or act older than them. I´m simply in a different point in my life. But all that seemed to be a huge problem for him.
Him: If you only knew.
Me: I do know.
Him: I know what BDSM is and to use someone for it is the basic idea of it. And one shouldn´t even look at someone´s age. My birthday is in December. So you´re 25 and a half. Congrats!
Me: It´s not about a couple of months, it´s about years.
Him: It´s not like you´re 40 and I´m 16.
Him: 5 years are nothing.
Me: There are worlds between us, believe me.
First step of escalation:
Him: That´s what you think. What can´t I do what an old cock can? Where did the cock come from all of the sudden?
Me: It´s not about the cock. It´s about the man attached to it. If you think that BDSM is only has to do with cocks then you have a very wrong idea.
Him: Man, that´s not what I said… The main thing for you is that the guy is old, that´s what you´re into… I know what BDSM is. But I´m not really into it, only a bit of bondage and smacking, that´s ok. Yeah, that´s what BDSM is all about *sarcasm off* That´s why I wanted to get to know you and try things out.
Me: There lies a lot between little boys and old men. And I´m not going to be used like some guinea pig. I want something real.
Him: I´m not a little boy. I can actually see him pout as he says is.
Me: Did I say that?
Him: I think so. You don´t know me.
And now, one of my favourite sentences throughout the conversation. I really hope that the translation doesn´t take away too much from it.
Him: Do I have shit on my mug that I´m not you´re type? I know that probably doesn´t make any sense in English. He was asking whether I thought he was ugly, I think. But he used both those words “shit” and “mug” and I had to share it.
Me: Where´s the problem? Not everyone has to be my type. Now I could write a whole essay about being a slut, but choosy. Posting sexy pics and how it doesn´t mean that I have to fuck every man who contacts me. But I won´t bore you with that. Because you know. And can also read about it here or here. Or like a friend on Twitter said: A “slut” is a sexually confident woman who sleeps with everyone but you…
Me: But with your choice of words my impression in confirmed.
Him: I want to know.
Me: I´m also not everyone´s type.
And again, another favourite response. He´s so charming…
Him: Yeah, you´ve been used too much.
Me: Yes, little boy, who can´t deal with being rejected…
Him: I´m just horny and write with way too many girls. At least he´s honest…
Me: Well, I can´t help you with that.
Him. But “old” men you can help.
Me: No, can´t help them either. I was getting bored by now.
Him: Yeah, it´s ok.
Him: If you wouldn´t look down on people Say what? then you´d get to know me first and then the mug and the age would be irrelevant. How did I end up being the asshole here?
Me: Can you please move on to somebody else now? Thank you and a good life.
Him: You started it. WHAT?
Me: I could have left your message unanswered.
Him: I don´t know why you answer younger men.
Me: Good manners and good upbringing.
Me: Why do you even write to someone whose profile clearly says that they are looking for someone above 30?
Him: Because the profiles are full of stuff which actually doesn’t matter. And I have my doubts about the good upbringing.
Me: And now you insult my parents. Charming… I don´t write things in my profile which don´t matter.
Him: Hehe, I´m just saying. If your parents only knew.
Me: Those are wo different things. I can be the way I am and still have good manners.
Him: Maybe, but then there´s a lack of control.
By this time I was bored, annoyed and a couple of other things.
Him: What´s your name?
I didn´t answer this, because my name is obvious in the nick I use. Also, see the conversation above.
Him: So much for good manners.
Me: My name is Lilly and I don´t know what you want from me.
Him: I’m, bored Lilly, I want to chat. If you´re bored, go read a book or something.
Him: My pussies are all offline. Yet another favourite.
Me: Sorry, but I´m not interested in chatting. Not that he cares.
Him: Come on. Earlier you´ve spammed me with messages. I did what?
Me: No, thanks.
Him: In your second picture, your body looks just like the one from my ex… just like you.
Me: Aha, thank you for the information. Still getting bored.
Him: Hey, got a new one. She´s into latex.
Me: Ok.
Him: But you look much hotter. And bondage makes more fun when the woman can´t move. Let me say it again: WHAT?
Me: Aha. Very interesting.
Him: Yes, and I´ve heard it arouses the man and the woman even more to be in a situation like that. I´m still not sure what he was trying to say here.
Me: You heard that. Fascinating.
Him: Mhmmm
Him: And I just wanted to do that with you… Preferably tie your hands and feet and properly push something inside. I can figure out what he wants to push into what. So I didn´t ask for details.
Me: I see.
Him: What else is there?
Me: Sorry?
Him: What else is there in BDSM?
By then I had actually found something better to do than continue this conversation.
Me: I have no desire to explain BDSM to you. Sometimes I suggest them to use Wikipedia. I´m offline. All the best.
But of course he couldn´t let me go without yet another charming message.
Him: Your ass belongs to me.

As I wrote earlier. When I started writing this pleasant dialog he wrote again. He asked whether I was in a better mood today. Actually I am. And that´s the reason I will not answer him. He might even get blocked. But I had to share this.

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did.


  1. Vincent

    For the last couple of weeks it’s a daily routine…Tinder(ing) in the subway on my way to work. Usual motion, to swipe left…then, out of the sudden, a picture of spanked butt cheeks and I was like wtf?! The next picture a nipple, well nothing too special to be honest but what really caught my attention was a link referring to your blog, then things got started…
    Didnt expect too much but I was bored, being caught in a metal tube between monotone people makes you read weird things.
    I started reading top down and the more I read the more I got…well, still looking for a word describing how I felt. I’ve seen a lot and I’ve read a lot of stories people publish on the internet but entering your world made my rod go hard but not like suddenly how it usualy happens…It was very slowly, veeery slowly, it was delicious…bit by bit, word after word my dick got harder, my pulse went faster, my sight got focused devouring your stories…never got aroused so much by the words of a stranger. Thank you (slut).


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