When I read the meme for this week´s “Wicked Wednesday” I didn´t have an idea right away. Just the other week I decided not look back and also not try to look into the future and be scared of what might come. I wanted to live in the present. Feel it, explore it, enjoy it.
So, let´s be honest, I had no idea what to write about.
But then came Tuesday.
My phone beeped, letting me know that I got a new email. “Probably spam”, I thought to myself. I unlocked the phone, swiped down to see who was writing. And then I saw a familiar email address. My previous Sir wrote. I was surprised.
So I opened the email. It was short, saying hello, asking how I was. I sat down. What should I do? Do I answer? Or maybe not? Why shouldn´t I answer? We parted on good terms.
If I answer what do I write?
“All is amazing” seems not right. We just broke off a couple of weeks ago.
“Not good” isn´t true.
After a few minutes I decided to answer and only mention me having a cold. As I started writing I realised that there was another problem.
How do I address him?
He addressed me as “little one”. Not as HIS, but still a form of endearment. On the other hand that name is very often used by man for me, or many other women.
Anyhow, I wouldn´t call him Sir or anything. But there was a certain way I learned to talk to him. Certain words I used to address him.
(There is a difference in German. I don´t want to get into grammar here. In case you´re interested: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_declension Read the part about the personal pronouns.)
My answer was rather short and seemed a bit distant, as I tried to not use personal pronouns.
He answered back and then I told him that I have trouble finding the right way addressing him. Obviously he wouldn´t have any problem if I kept addressing him the way I did.
But it felt wrong to me.
On the one hand that is the way I addressed him for a long period and it feels kind of natural.
But on the other hand I only called him that because he was my Dom. Now he´s not my Dom anymore.
It also feels wrong towards the new man in my life.
How do you address your exDoms or former subs?
How do you want them to call you?
See who else is looking back:
I cannot give you any advice, but I can understand that it’s difficult to find a different way to address him.
Rebel xox
I wouldn’t know but then, when I am not in ‘play’ mode, I address my dom by his name. It’s just the way me and him are.
Word usage is incredibly important, and I can understand the dilemna you felt. Hope you come up with a solution if you two continue to communicate.
I’ve struggled with this for a little while myself. It took a while before Mister became just a friend I call by his first name. MySir is more difficult to get past, not just because I still love him or because having him not be a part of my life is relatively new, but because he’s owned me from nearly the very beginning of us knowing each other. I wish I knew.
Stella
Xxx