My Most Important Relationship

My Most Important Relationship

Today I read an interesting retweet.

A woman asked what we liked about ourselves and attached was a tweet of another woman.

That retweeted tweet said that she sees herself as a perfect woman. It also had a list of things that she finds make her perfect.

I loved that she sees herself that way. How often do women, including myself, think of themselves as not good enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not successful enough…. I could go on.

Somehow we are trained to always look for what is missing, what isn’t the way we or society wants it to be, what could be improved.

What we ought to do is to concentrate on whatever we’re good at, what we like about ourselves, what makes us good people.

I will not go into detail what the list in her tweet was. Only that much, all the things she listed where perfectly fine and I even envy her for her being happy with herself. In a good way.

I like myself. I am nice to look at (although that is always I the eyes of the beholder), I am good at cooking and baking, I am funny and fun to go out and have drinks with. I am emphatic and I am a good mother. I am organised and many more things.

For me something was missing in her list and when I started to think what I would wrote in a list like the one I just wrote, I realised that the first thing I’d say about myself is that I am smart and my mind is the best part of me (also the most complicated).

This woman’s tweet showed me something very important.

There are things about oneself that we know we are good at. Things we like about ourselves. Things we live about ourselves. We need to concentrate on those things to see what an amazing person each of us is and what we have that we can share with the world, with our friends, our loved ones, our family, our parents and kids and our partners (whatever the kind of relationship that is).

The most important relationship we have is with ourselves. Only if that relationship is a good one, we can have a good relationship with another person.

I know that I couldn’t be with someone whose mind doesn’t fascinate. As exciting as that person in, pretty soon I will get bored.

Same is true the other way around. I’d feel very unappreciated, if my partner would only like me for my body and not my brain.

Check out who else is in a relationship:


  1. May

    Great post – I so agree the most important relationship we can have is with ourselves. I wrote a similar post a while back „learning to love yourself“ – we can’t expect to be good with anyone else until we have achieved this even a little bit

  2. There are times when I’m very aware of my relationship with myself. It is strange, but quite wonderful, to think of myself as a person who I can know, communicate with, appreciate. Strange, but valuable too. Thanks for the reminder.

  3. Your words hold a lot of truth, sometimes we need to do the check-in and notice what kind of perspectives we use to look at ourselves. We all have good things about ourselves and it is a great idea to celebrate those.

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