For me, intimacy can be found in so many things.
It can be a touch, a look, a word. Something totally mundane. Asking your partner whether they’d like some coffee too, while you’re making yourself some.
I have always found that D/s was very much about intimacy.
The way D/s should work (for me at least) is that both partners open up to the each other.
Sharing my desires, my kinks, my dark ideas, my submission with him is so very intimate.
Two aspects I find extremely intimate.
The one is tears. And I think I have written enough about tears so far and probably more posts on this subject will follow.
The other is using my safeword. I’ve mentioned that I don’t often use it and how I was encouraged to use it by Michael during our 48 hours together.
Why do I find it such an intimate thing?
A safeword is a word which the two of us have chosen. It’s a word that means something to us, only us. For no one else would words like “pineapple”, “bookshelf” or “underground” mean anything else than the actual meaning of those words.
The moment I say my safeword everything stops, or at least pauses.
But it’s not the safeword itself that I find particularly intimate.
It’s using my safeword, actually saying it out loud. Not just thinking it. Not discussing it in my head whether I can take more. No. Saying the word.
Why is that so intimate for me?
It’s not about speaking up. I might be shy every now and then, but usually I’m not afraid to speak my mind.
It’s about admitting how far I can go, how much I can take.
Using my safeword means allowing myself to be vulnerable. I show that this is the point from which on I might be hurt.
Using my safeword is intimacy, because it shows that I trust my partner with my vulnerability, my limits, my well-being, my submission.