The other night, I was lying in bed and waiting for Sir to call. I enjoy our late night calls, as much as any other of our calls or ways of communication. But the late night calls are special. They are quieter, more intimite.
So my phone vibrated and we started to talk. He was telling me about his day, when he got to meet a friend. I was telling him about my day. We continued talking about the things we experienced, how much we missed and loved each other.
The days leading up to that evening and also the days to follow, were pretty busy on my part. I had work and not work stuff going on. Travelling, organising, catching up on things at the office. As well as home and the Mini-Mes.
So as we were talking and he was saying so many sweet and wonderful things, all I could think about was that I felt the need for a day of dominance, strictness, submission.
Don’t get me wrong. D/s is a daily part of my and our life. The first thing I do and the last thing I do every day are acts of submission to him. Throughout the day there are regular tasks and rules. But sometimes it’s not quite enough. Sometimes I crave more.
It’s not a big surprise that Michael is not a mind-reader, so he couldn’t know what I wanted at that time. I didn’t get it at that time, because I didn’t speak up.
Why didn’t I speak up? Honestly, because he was being so sweet and I felt that at that moment it was more important for me to show him my love than to ask for something for me.
On the other hand, I have also noticed that there are those days when I simply crave love, caring, romance. And that is ok – something I’m still getting used to.
In a way, I guess, we are co-dependent. I need him to submit to, to own me, to satisfy that very special craving. And he needs me so that he can be dominant, so he can lead, so he can hurt.
And at the same time we need each other to love and feel loved. Care and be cared for. Have someone to be silly with and express all kinds of romantic feelings and thoughts.
Depending on one another can be a wonderful thing. And I am glad that I have him to depend on.