Once upon a time…

Once upon a time…

…I started my journey into D/s.

Back then I was seeing a Dom in England, getting to know my way around the community and was getting to know people from Twitter. Mostly online, but some I actually made plans to meet and a few I did meet.

There was that woman who was in a more or less new relationship and we started our conversation by exchanging tweets, moved to DMs and at some point began emailing back and forth. We even planned to meet, but it never happened. I’m not sure why.

Fast forward about 10 years.

So many things happened in all your lives. Many changes. Happiness, sadness, disappointments, love, laughter.

Last Sunday was a hard day for me. I have been missing Michael terribly. More than usual. I’m not quarantined, but there’s no school. It’s home-work-home. No friends, no time for oneself. And the weekend wasn’t easy. I was tired, exhausted and all I wanted was to curl up in his arms.

What pushed me over the edge was one of my best friends sending me photo of her and her husband having a date on the balcony, being happy. Don’t get me wrong. I’m extremely happy for them. They deserve all the happiness in the world.

But I did hate them for that happiness for a second – or two. I wanted to curl up in his arms and I couldn’t.

I couldn’t, because we are in a LDR. But not only that. It’s the times we live in. We are in a LDR and have no idea when the next time will be that we can see each other. That made Sunday so hard. And seeing so many of my followers quarantined with their person, hurt again.

I tweeted about my happy friend and asked, playfully, whether it was ok to hate them for a moment. And there was a response. A female twitter friend answered.

It wasn’t her saying that it’s ok to hate my friend for a moment.

What got to me and touched me was her sharing that she was feeling the same way. She too is in a LDR. She too wishes to be with her person.

But it was one simple word that touched me.


Later that evening I was having a call with Michael. And in the background there was my Twitter friend. Again Molly was sending me hugs.

Funny how the world works. 10 years ago we didn’t managed to meet and lost contact. This Sunday she was comforting me, because it’s her husband I miss.

I’m not a person who enjoys hugs a lot. But there are moments when even a virtual hug can go a long way.

Thank you!

Read what other people have to say about hugs:


  1. I can completely get how you feel and I saw your tweet and felt like perhaps I should have replied. But I’m not in your situation. I’m so like… jealous? / feel a bit heartbroken. What I wouldn’t do to have that partner right now. My M/s with Lois was always online and in these times what I wouldn’t give just to have that. A person you know you can rely on, who loves you, cares, is there. Possibly being with that person is not something I’d even dare to hope for. Seeing everyone talk about their partners and even over being apart makes me ache inside. I wish I had that. I wish this virus could have waited long enough for me to find that, or come a year ago when I still had it. But then I think, this is a worldwide thing. It’s just how it is and it has nothing to do with me. I truly hope that you and Michael will be able to see each other in person as soon as possible. My heart also aches for you

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