It’s been several weeks since we were together, in each other’s presence. It was amazing, it was interesting, it was challenging. It brought us closer together.
We tried new things. We learned about each other. We learned about ourselves.
Of course we couldn’t fit everything we planned into those few days, but there will be a next time and a next time and a next time. I don’t feel that I missed out on anything.
Though there were a few moments in which I seem to miss a certain item.
I caught myself reaching to my neck to feel my collar and also have the longing for him to pull me to him, by the ring attached to it.
I haven’t worn a collar in years. I remember having one with P (and the looks I got at the airport, when I forgot to take it off and accidentally took it back to Germany). I’m pretty sure, I had one with the local American guy I was seeing here. But that was about 8 years ago.
Since then there were talks about collars with various men. But either the relationship never got there or it wasn’t as important for him as for me. Or too big of a commitment, again for him. Or I simply hadn’t “earned” it yet… The last talk about a collar I had was past summer. So all in all, it seems the collar has been more on my mind than my neck.
Of course Michael and I talked about collars, especially every-day-collars. And ever since we met for the first time in person, I have been “collared”. I have most wonderful collar. One I can wear every day, every night, always. And he wears the key.
So what am I talking about here?
While my every-day-collar, which is a bracelet, is always with me and reminds me of my submission and his love, I seem to miss the feeling of leather and steel (more or less) tight around my neck. Not in my day-to-day life, but when we are together.
I don’t know. Because it’s supposed to be that way? Because it’s what others do? Because I actually enjoy it? Because it shows a difference to my every-day-collar? Because I love the feeling of having something tight around my neck?
I’m not sure. It might be all of those reasons or none of them. Maybe it’s just an idea in my head.
At the end, who needs a collar anyway, when you have the man you need?