Yes, you read correctly! I named this post “Service Dom”. Let me elaborate.
I have never described myself as a “Service Sub”.
I do like to think of myself as a helpful person. I offer my help and knowledge to friends and acquaintances. So, not in a D/s kind of way. I am not submissive when proving any service to people around me.
Being the person that I am, I never looked at serving as a kink or somehow connected to my submission. Which lead me to ask a friend on that topic, before writing this post. Here’s part of her answer:
In it’s simplest form, I think it is putting someone’s wants before your own. But that should not be confused with putting their needs over your own. If I am to provide service, I should consider what “service” I can provide that is useful to the person I am serving.@ServiceSlut
I find this explanation very useful. And also, to me, it describes a partnership and can be an explanation for “regular” relationships.
As much as I love helping and, well, serving, I struggle asking for help.
Now I find myself with a man who goes out of his way to help me.
It started with little things, which were put into D/s context.
I mentioned that I wish I would make more time to read, for example. And soon enough I had a task of reading at least 5 pages a day. He suggests books, we discuss them.
Same is true for other normal things, like relugar exercise or making sure I do not forget to wear earrings (yes, that is important to me).
But he has also helped me in daily things, even work related, without any D/s connection. Everytime I tell him in one of our calls that I have had a tech problem, his response is “Why didn’t you ask?”. The answer usually is that I wanted to try to do it on my own and also am mostly capable of using Google. But I have noticed that I started actually asking him to help, explain or talk me through things. (Yes, I still want to try and do it myself mostly.)
The other day we were talking about what he will cook when I finally come to visit. He was making plans on what I can eat and can’t and find ways to have me happy (and full of carbs).
Every time we were together, in each other’s presence, he made sure that I am well, even if that meant wandering around town to find a place that actually serves food I would consider eating.
Looking at the explanation provided by @ServiceSlut, I would say he is putting my wants above his. He is thinking of ways to provide a service that is useful and helpful to me.
It almost seems, I have gotten myself a “Service Dom”.
Does that make him less dominant or me less submissive? No, it doesn’t. It simply shows that he cares for me and I care for him. Because, you know what, I look out for him and his wants as well.