I’ve been writing less than I used to in the past months. It has to do with not being motived enough, the frustrating pandemic, but also with my decision of not participating in memes, I used to participate in.
I chose to do that for many reasons. For one, I don’t want to be associated with blogs, that are being mean to people I care about and/or exclude people because of their orientation or lifestyle. Blogs that are transphobic and simply horrible.
And on some very personal level, I don’t feel I am welcome to participate when the people running the meme block me on their personal accounts. And not for something I did or said – that I would be ok with. Blocked because of the people in my life.
When I say I don’t want to be associated with those memes and blogs, it doesn’t mean that I now will go back and delete all the posts I linked to those blogs in the past. My past is my past and I am who I am because of that past. It also shows my development. Where I came from and where I’m going.
What did I do? I simply stopped participating several weeks ago. The last one I did, I managed to get all of those memes into one post.
Did anyone notice? Maybe. No one reached out. But on the other hand, I wasn’t vocal about my reasons. I simply stopped. And maybe it’s true what they say: Out of sight, out of mind. My blog and I don’t have such a huge range. Does it really matter who I follow and interact with? Yes, it does. Some of those people were easy to let go of, others I’m still struggling with. There are people I have been in contact with since I started blogging. Memes and blogs that helped me think, become the person I am today. Maybe, secretly, I still hope those will come around and see and understand.
I have not particularly been vocal about what has been happening. And I know I have so much more to learn and understand and a long way to go. We all do. So I do things in my own pace and stopped writing.
Does not participating even matter?
I came to the conclusion that not participating might not matter, but participating does.
What I don’t write isn’t seen, but what I wrote and where I write it, is. And even if it’s a small step, it shows where my mind, my heart and my morals lie.