I’ve been writing less than I used to in the past months. It has to do with not being motived enough, the frustrating pandemic, but also with my decision of not participating in memes, I used to participate in.
I chose to do that for many reasons. For one, I don’t want to be associated with blogs, that are being mean to people I care about and/or exclude people because of their orientation or lifestyle. Blogs that are transphobic and simply horrible.
And on some very personal level, I don’t feel I am welcome to participate when the people running the meme block me on their personal accounts. And not for something I did or said – that I would be ok with. Blocked because of the people in my life.
When I say I don’t want to be associated with those memes and blogs, it doesn’t mean that I now will go back and delete all the posts I linked to those blogs in the past. My past is my past and I am who I am because of that past. It also shows my development. Where I came from and where I’m going.
What did I do? I simply stopped participating several weeks ago. The last one I did, I managed to get all of those memes into one post.
Did anyone notice? Maybe. No one reached out. But on the other hand, I wasn’t vocal about my reasons. I simply stopped. And maybe it’s true what they say: Out of sight, out of mind. My blog and I don’t have such a huge range. Does it really matter who I follow and interact with? Yes, it does. Some of those people were easy to let go of, others I’m still struggling with. There are people I have been in contact with since I started blogging. Memes and blogs that helped me think, become the person I am today. Maybe, secretly, I still hope those will come around and see and understand.
I have not particularly been vocal about what has been happening. And I know I have so much more to learn and understand and a long way to go. We all do. So I do things in my own pace and stopped writing.
Does not participating even matter?
I came to the conclusion that not participating might not matter, but participating does.
What I don’t write isn’t seen, but what I wrote and where I write it, is. And even if it’s a small step, it shows where my mind, my heart and my morals lie.
It’s your writing space, and you should use it for what matters most to you. Taking a stand can happen in very subtle ways. And I don’t think any of us should worry whether anyone is reading us. That is truly secondary, I believe. Writing should be about feeding your soul and connecting with the people who matter to you.
Not participating does matter. You say you haven’t been vocal about it but in a way you have. By not participating you “spoke up” and said “this isn’t okay”. Good on you! Yes our past is our past. I wouldn’t delete it either. Learn grow, move forward.
I think that increasingly many of us are doing this very thing. Not participating is something you can do to make a point. I think people do notice, but whether they care is something else. As Brigit says, you have to write for yourself first and maybe also for those important people who read your words. Keep writing though!
I think not participating in those memes is akin to voting with your dollars. I’m certainly not going to give traffic to them or support them in any way. I don’t want or need those types of associations. I didn’t delete the old posts either. I did remove the badge on posts for one particular meme because I was so sickened by the person’s behavior. Plus she blocked me when we hadn’t even had any personal interactions regarding her transphobic behavior.