…there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here.Mark Twain
I don’t set myself goals for the new year. I haven’t done that in a while. For many reasons. One of the main ones is that I know I won’t be serious about it. Using January 1st as a date where something changes seem wrong to me. Also, everybody else is doing that, and I don’t like to do what everybody else does.
I do like to set goals. Some are easier achieved than others. Some will never be achieved. They are more dreams than goals. And that is fine.
My goals aren’t set in stone. And if they were, I think, 2020 would’ve taught me to not do that again. I have learnt a while ago that it’s important to be flexible with one’s goals. Life happens as you make plans. And then we need to adjust.
I had plans and goals for 2020. And it’s not over yet. Some goals have only been postponed or moved to a few months later. Others were cancelled.
I had several events I was supposed to participate in and be part of. I had already put in a lot of work and energy. But they never happened and they won’t in the future. But new events will come my way and that is ok.
I have learnt to slow down. As simple as it sounds, this lesson took several weeks. The first weeks of lock-down, I was nervous. I had too much energy. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Now, I realise I am much calmer. Although I admit, I miss that specific, good stress.
Other plans and goals changed. For example I planned to go to the UK in the summer and stay there maybe for a week. Spend time with Michael. Maybe finally meet Molly in person. But it became clear to me that there’s no way I will be going there anytime soon. Even worse, I thought, I wouldn’t see Michael again until 2021.
Yet, as I said, plans change and suddenly I found myself spending 10 days with him. In Germany. I’m sure we would’ve had a great time, no matter where, but those days were wonderful, special and would not have been anything like they were, if not for Corona.
In the past I have learnt that setting goals for a year or setting very high goals, was not working for me. I prefer to set myself more goals, smaller goals. And through that, I can achieve a big goal. But it seems less scary. Losing 3 kilos and 3 kilos and 3 kilos seems easier to me that losing 9 kilos.
Setting goals that you can achieve is about knowing and understanding yourself. What is true for your friend might not work for you and vice versa. Setting goals is also about being true to yourself. You won’t achieve any goal, if you’re lying to yourself or if you’re making yourself smaller than you are.
What I do at work is that I try not to think about the need to finish magazine issue 426. I break it down to smaller pieces. For issue 426 I need to wrote about XX, ZY and YX. It’s not as overwhelming and I get to experience more goals.
Did I revaluate my goals? Yes, I always do. And I adjust, change and embrace what life gives me.