When I wrote about exhibitionism, I mentioned how much I enjoyed not only being looked at, but also hear others comments on what I’m doing. Comments on how hot it looks as I finger my cunt, play with myself or simply what a dirty little slut I am.
I love reading what he has to say about me on Twitter or on his blog. Stories that I know are about me, they get me really excited. All in all, I could say that I telly enjoy being talked about in a sexual way.
And up until a while ago I believed it to be totally true. Then I was introduced to the principle of cuckquean. I have heard about cuckold, but never thought about it much and obviously didn’t spend too much thinking about it and didn’t realise that there’s a female version of it.
One day Michael shared a story with me and as I was reading it, I had all those feelings, I didn’t expect to have. It was written from the perspective of the cuckquean. One of the things that really got to me was when she was talked about. I know it was the sum of many things in the story that made me feel uneasy. But that certainly played a big role.
What did I learn about myself from that? I realised very clearly how I feel about the idea of cuckquean. And that it’s nothing I ever want to do, experience, try. But also that being talked about has more than one result for me. And as often, it is about the context and people involved and one’s role.
While I enjoy being the center of attention and know that people are enjoying seeing me as a sexual being, that works for me only up until a certain degree.
The idea that he might tell his friends what a dirty, filthy little girl I am and how they even envy him, is so very, very hot. Reading about what he wants to do to me – makes me so fucking wet.
And that is the important part. Knowing which aspect I don’t enjoy is just as important.
And I’ll let you in on a secret. Every now and then, after I post a sexy picture, one of his friends sends him a voice message. Talking about how fucking hot I am. And he shares those with me. And they are hot and always make my day.