There are so many amazing and talented bloggers out there. Each time I approach one to do the round up I am overwhelmed that they actually agree and are happy to do it. Just as I am overwhelmed by all the wonderful people who participate in the prompt.
This round up us done by Julie. If you haven’t read her blog or aren’t following her on Twitter, we’ll, you’re missing out!
No True Way Roundup #8 – By Julie
The posts for NTW #8 offer some really interesting views on whether love is a necessary component within a D/s setting. What is pretty clear, is that like most other relationship issues it depends on the people involved.
In their post, Calliope discusses how a power exchange lies at the centre of their relationship and that this forms the basis for everything that has come since. What is clear, is that communication and a deep understanding of each other’s needs is fundamental for a successful relationship. For Calliope and their Daddy love emerged after the D/s element was firmly in place: “The love in our relationship is born out of respect for each other and is deepened when we work on the dynamic, when it’s reinforced, when it is put above all else.”
https://queercourtesan.com/2020/10/love-and-power-exchange/
Aletha Hunt writes about the complexities of defining what love is and recognising it within the context of specific relationships. Aletha also identifies that different relationships have different needs within them, so a friendship can be based on and involve D/s but doesn’t have to include love. “All the significant friendships I have in my life have an element of (usually, but not always, non-sexual / non-explicit D/s in their structure, with me very happy as the little s.”
At home with her partner Aletha describes, how their relationship feels: “Most importantly it satisfies both of us involved. But can I express what that means to me in words? I feel appreciated for both outcomes and effort applied, I feel valued. I feel supported. I feel respected. Desired.
https://alethea.whenimonmyown.uk/?p=27360
Violet Fawkes takes the approach that while it is perfectly possible for D/s to thrive without love, it works well too if love is involved. “Certainly D/s can exist without love but it can exist just as well with it. The D/s bond can be exquisite and very deep, with or without love, but D/s that is steeped in love and all the trust and closeness that comes with it, seems even more rich and nuanced.”
“Considering the trust required for any activity involving power exchange, I can’t fathom giving over any part of myself in submission without loving the person I’m giving it to.”
These quotes reflect Violet’s own experience and I found myself nodding as I read because they reflect my own. https://violetfawkes.com/2020/09/29/do-you-need-love-in-ds/
What is clear though is that there is no one answer to this question and definitely no true way!
Love or is and then everything is clear. Or it does not exist and then you cannot find words and definitions to describe it. That’s all.