Yet another post to start with “I had plans“.
I was supposed to be in a big city in Germany this week. I had a panel that was scheduled there. And I had plans.
I wanted to arrive a few days early and spend a wonderful weekend with Michael. Then we would have a romantic Monday evening and start tomorrow together. But well, you know how the world is.
My panel will now take place online. We had to change our plans. And I find myself in bed, by myself, with miles and kilometres apart from him.
Don’t get me wrong. I loved our time together last week. And again, just as in March, we got lucky. The Covid situation is getting worse again and I’m not sure we could’ve made this week happen. Even in Germany.
But I had plans. Because it’s not just another day. It’s Michael’s birthday. I was looking forward to spend it with him. And have him spend it with me, be taken care of by me.
I can’t be near him today to show him, how much I care and love him. Not that I need a special day for that or that he doesn’t know it. But in my world, birthdays are special. And I wanted to make this day all about him.
I can’t wait for all the birthdays that we will get to spend together. And all the experiences and memories we’ll make between those.
Michael, I wish I could look you in the eyes, smile at you, hold you, and wish you a happy birthday in person.
You are wonderful, caring, loving, intelligent, inspiring. There are no dull moments with you. And I’m thankful for meeting you and having you in my life.
I love you Michael!
It’s sad when plans are thwarted. But I am sure that Michael will read these lines and understand everything and will not be offended by you or this life. And you will have many more years, and many holidays that you can spend together pleasing and supporting each other.