Kaffee, Rosen, Bett, Porzellan, Eine Tasse Kaffee

That is something I keep telling Michael.

Not daily, but every now and then. Often, when I’m dropping or feeling lonely and missing him. Or when I’m unhappy. I’m not sure why that is during those times specifically. It is what it is. But the point is not when I say it. It’s what I say.

He deserves better. More specifically, he deserves someone better than me. Not that I am the worst thing that could happen to him. But it could be easier.
He deserves better. Less complicated, closer, maybe even better behaved. And maybe someone who is a native English speaker – language makes things harder sometimes.

Why do I say that he deserves better? Because I love him. I want him to have the best and he happy.

When you care for someone, you want them to be happy and have all the best things in the world. That is how I feel about him. He is amazing. Because of him, I’m able to be the person I am deep down. I feel free to be silly and romantic and all that stuff. Something I haven’t done and been in a very, very long time. So I want just the same for him.
He inspires me to write posts like that.

Yes, I do realise that he thinks that this person is me and on some level I understand it. But I’m astonished at that. One day I’ll be able to actually see it and not wonder about it anymore. Maybe.

When I say that he deserves better, I mean it.
But the same time, there is NO WAY I’m allowing him to go. He is staying with me. As long as he’ll have me and wants to stay. Because I too deserve the best – and that is him. I deserve him.

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