I’m pretty sure I have written about humiliation before. It’s a tricky subject to me. And probably to everyone else who enjoys it. And maybe eben more so to people who don’t or who don’t understand the concept.
When listing things I enjoy, I’m very careful to bring up humiliation. I wouldn’t add it to my limits, although certain aspects of it are an absolute no-go.
I like humiliation. I enjoy it. But it has to be just right. And that isn’t easy. I find it much easier with other things. I like spanking – no-brainer. I like choking – needs trust, but still not a hard thing. I enjoy calling him Sir – easy.
Humiliation is hard. It has to be just right and if done wrong, a lot of trust and love needs to be rebuild. Let me elaborate. Just like about every other (female) person on the planet, I’m very insecure when it comes to my body and all it’s flaws. So being called ugly or fat is a hard limit.
Same is true with being called stupid. I’m much more confident about my intelligence, but call me “stupid” or something like that and playtime will be over. For a while.
It’s not only words, also actions. One of my previous doms and I were in an argument or a disagreement. Many things went wrong that night. Including a face slap that was about the last straw. Another moment was me showering, or actually him washing the soap off me. While doing so his actions made me feel very aware of my breasts not being all perfect, but hanging.
I got over it and him – it might’ve been the other way around. But what I’m trying to say is that humiliation has it’s time and place and form. Why am I going on and on about that?
While Michael and I were together in October and I believe it was Mean (and Service) Day™, he said a word. He was on the bed, I was sucking his cock. He might’ve been spanking me. While I was busy being a good girl, he was giving me a bit of a motivational speech. Things like: “Suck my cock. That is what you were made to do.” Normal stuff.
I will not be going into each thing he said. And again, at that moment the things he said were good, arousing, and fit perfectly. I know that he’d never say those things at the dinner table or any other inappropriate time.
As I said, he said a word. I wasn’t sure whether he actually said it, but then I heard it again.
In the moment I heard it and I knew he said it, but I was busy with other things. Like concentrating on making him cum, while being spanked. A bit later he said it again. I believe it was something like “You’re a worthless whore”. After that day the memories of him saying that and me hearing it kept coming back. But not in a way that I was shocked to hear it and had to find a way to deal with it.
I was surprised by the fact that it didn’t bother me. It even turned me on in that moment. And I enjoyed hearing it. More so, I enjoyed him saying it.
And that is the point. Humiliation is a fine line. And that line can move. It moves with the circumstances, the people involved, the emotions and so on.
Hearing him call me worthless was arousing and ok not a problem, because I know how much I am worth to him.
I think you point out what makes it okay right there at the end. When we are sure of how the other person thinks of us, it is less likely that trust will be hurt or feelings crushed by a word or phrase during play. And it very much matters who says it and in what context. We all have hard limits when it comes to what we can or will handle, but even those can be pushed with the right person at the right time.
So there is still some problem in this, if this word hooked you. We all want to be useful, important, mean something to others, especially to loved ones. And when suddenly we hear “useless” this is probably the scariest word that you could hear.