When I posted the prompt I thought it would maybe have two people linking in and sharing similar thoughts. And then I was proven wrong. From the posts linked in so far, I have read different opinions and thoughts. Some I agree with, some I very much disagree with. And I have to say, I love it! That’s the point of No True Way. Sharing your ideas and believes and other see that there are other opinions out there nd neither are wrong.
What are my thoughts then?
When I saw the picture we are talking about I had not much of a reaction. But the more I think about it and read other thoughts, more of an opinion forms.
I’m not sure how I would’ve reacted if I was there to see it happen for real. And I guess it also depends who I was with. But the picture is only a symbol for what we’re talking about.
Should kink be seen?
It’s a definite yes and no. It all depends on when and where and how. I behave myself differently when I’m at work or giving a seminar than when I beg Michael to spank me.
If kink is seen as something that is only sexual then I’d say less of it should be seen. I’m not a prude, but I also don’t need to force my sex life into other people. I can be open about my sexual orientation, if I live in a place where its safe to be that. I can also be open about my preferences when it comes to sex. But nothing of that has a place in a parent-teacher-conference or the supermarket.
Is kink just about sex?
For me it’s more. While I’m not a submissive in all situations in life and not even all the time when I’m with Michael, it still is a part of me. Is it the same as a sexual orientation? I don’t believe it is. Yet, it’s not something I chose and not a role I slip in and out from. Obviously I can only speak for myself, but being told what to do during sex and ask for permission to meet my friends feeds the same need.
So again, should kink be seen publicly?
Having two men walk in front of me, holding hands, makes me smile. It doesn’t bother me, it has to influence on my life whatsoever. It’s something I can easily explain to my kids.
Seeing two people walking down the street while one is on a lead has just as little influence on me, but explaining it would be much harder. But I feel that comparing these two things is like comparing apples and oranges. Both are fruit, and is about they have in common.
Yet I believe kink is already seen publicly, but we don’t realise it. I wear a bracelet as a collar everyday. Others wear actual collars. But people don’t realise it. So far people have just commented on my nice bracelet and only one person asked me who holds the key for it.
I don’t feel the need to tell everyone that into some weird things. I’d never call Michael “Daddy” in public. “Sir” is only used publicly when he makes me use it – and he loves how I blush when I actually say it out loud.
I don’t feel the need to tell the world that I’m his “little slut” and I get wet when he bruises me. Just as I don’t want to hear about the vegan being vegan everytime I talk to them. We are more than our kink, even if our kink is a big part of us.
And here again, I’d like to quote Immanuel Kant, as I did before:
The freedom of the individual ends where the freedom of the other begins.
Immanuel Kant
What it comes down to is the question: Would I want to see/know that about another person?
If the answer is “no”, don’t do it. And for everything else:
Use common sense!
Read other views on kink in public:
Although Kant did not say this phrase today, it sounds quite relevant.
I think the toughest part of both PDA and kink in public is the non-consent of your viewers. They did not ask to see it and should not have to deal with it. But it does add a sense of risk and dare (which can be huge turn-ons for some) when you are the involved parties. There is a very fine line.