Never Have I Ever…
…been known to be overly patient.
I ttell over drivers how to drive, when I’m behind the wheel. Of course I am well aware of the fact that they can’t hear me. I get annoyed by people walking slowly in front of me. I don’t mind them, but they should do it somewhere else. Far away from me.
I would rather walk, ride the bike or drive myself than taking public transportation. Because I feel that I’m actively doing something I have to order to get to a different place. I’m not dependent on someone else.
I hate waiting. I know I’m not alone. I am alright with waiting when I know I have no other choice. Like with Covid for example. There’s not much I can do. And what I can do, I do – like social distancing, wearing a mask and so on.
Yesterday I ordered something for me and now I am awaiting a package. Actually there are several packages I await, but let’s take that one as my example. I placed the order and then I received updates on what is happening. The app told me that it has already arrived in my area and mostly likely it will be delivered today. That calms me down. Not that I am actively doing anything to receive my package, but I know where it is.
I guess, my impatience is a part of my need to be in control. Even if that control is not real, I still feel it. I am aware of what is happening when and why.
On the other hand I like to give away control. I feel more submissive when he is in control. Obviously I am the one controlling how much control I’m giving away.
Sometimes I think Michael enjoys it when I’m impatient.
Last week I was informed that a package is on its way to me. (Told you, I’m awaiting more packages.) I don’t know what is in there – althought I might have an idea. And I was told that once the package arrives, I am NOT allowed to open it. That is pure torture.
Or so I thought. It turns out, the post office is sadistic as well and I have been waiting for the package all week now. Also there was no tracking number, so no way for me to know where it is and when it might arrive. Yes, that drove me just a little bit crazy.
I know that once the package arrives, I still will not be allowed to open it, but with the torture I was experiencing all week, it seems bearable.
As I was on my way home, I was informed that a package has arrived. I checked all my app and neither of the other packages were marked as delivered. I felt a little bit of hope, but at the same time I knew I shouldn’t get my hopes up.
Indeed there was a package waiting for me. And now the waiting begins.