Lilly’s Conflict

I love to read. I always complain that I don’t have enough time to read though. So for a while now I had a reading task. Each day I had to read a certain amount of pages or I had to read for as many minutes as Sir decided. I have read much more since I’m with him. I read a few books he suggested, a couple I discovered myself. I learnt that I read much faster in German, but that’s no surprise really.

A couple of weeks ago I saw a tweet by @KinkyKatie in my TL suggesting a kinky book club. I loved the idea right away. I have always been fascinated by book clubs, but really only knew them from movies and TV. I was added to a group, a book was suggested and a time to discuss it. I already knew that it would be impossible for me to be on Zoom or something similar at the suggested time, so I decided to read the book and write a review here – also something I’ve never done.

I decided to be open about the book and had not read any reviews or even the back of the book before starting.

Before I begin to share my thoughts, please know that those are my thoughts and feelings towards the book. I’m not writing this to offend or upset anyone. Also: SPOILER ALERT!

Cassandra’s Conflict

Fredrica Alleyn

It starts of with a young, clueless, (sexually) inexperienced woman, Cassandra. She has a job interview with a baron, who apparently is a millionaire or billionaire. Rich is what he is. I’m pretty sure he’s wearing a suit when they meet.

After the first few pages I start to see where this is going. And just as the baron sometimes is bored by some women, so I begin to be bored by the obvious plot.

A bit on the background. The baron’s wife died some time ago. He lives in his mansion with his fiance – we’re all supposed to hate her – some servants and his two girls, 2 and 4. Cassandra takes the job as their nanny, because the previous one was not to the baron’s satisfaction. Yes, that pun was totally intended.

I won’t go through each chapter and talk about it. But there were a few things that caught my attention and I want to point them out.

The book is full of non-consent. The previous nanny doesn’t want to be used by the fiance, yet she has to. That was the first time I thought “this bothers me”. Not the last time though.

Of course one can say that everyone was there out of their free wil and was welcome to leave. The baron specifically says so.

It is also made clear that if you decide not to participate, you’re out of the house and are not to come back. One can’t pause. Either you play along or you go. That is not a healthy relationship.

Obviously each chapter has sex in it. And that really didn’t bother me. I also didn’t mind that everyone was always able to preform, always had an orgasm. No one worried about STDs or pregnancy. Expect one scene, when the vasectomy is mentioned AFTER the act.

But terms like “love channel” and “sex lips” over and over I found horrible.

For a part of the book the baron’s daughters are around and we learn a little bit about them and the relationship with their father. He is quite strict with them and teaches them to always be in control of themselves.

That goes so far that the girls have exact times when to use that bathroom. That’s bathroom control. And while I might be into it, those are kids. They are 2 and 4 years old! Having set times for them to use the bathroom will not work and might do a lot of damage to them.

The baron is playing a game. In the end either his fiance or Cassandra will win – take a wild guess who the winner is. Yet, Cassandra is not aware of any game. And while the fiance knows about the game, she is left in the dark about the rules.

Not having clear rules is a huge red flag. Not discussing d/s or BDSM or however you want to call it – again red flag. Not telling someone that there’s a competition is a no-go. If someone would tell me that they are in a relationship like that, I’d tell them to run as fast and as far as they can.

One of the side stories is about the baron’s friends (a couple) coming to visit. With them they have an 18-year-old girl. This girl’s stepfather – who is on his honeymoon with the mother – sent the girl to said couple to get her ready for him.

I really hope I was clear in the text above. The guy married a woman to get close to her daughter and sends that child off to his friends to train her for him. Am I the only one to see the issue here? Also, there’s definitely rape happening with that girl in the book.

The baron is fascinated by Cassandra. Good for her. He’s excited to spend all the coming time with her. Until he gets bored and then looks for someone new.

Sigh, I don’t even know what to say here.

One of the last chapters is a slave auction. Here’s Cassandra’s last test. The baron’s friend mentions earlier that he either heard or saw a woman being fucked by a snake. Wanna take a wild guess what happens next? A tiny snake is inserted into Cassandra. It is being held by the end of the tail and of course is not poisonous. Cassandra is very willing and even experiences an orgasm.

YKINMKBYKIOK – Your Kink Is Not My Kink, But You Kink Is OK. I might be into things that others don’t like like DD/lg or bathroom control – as mentioned above. Of course there are also kink that I’ll never do. But Bestiality is taking it too far. I fail to see how something like that might ever be OK or acceptable.

Cassandra wins, of course. Yet, till the end she wonders whether it might all been a joke and she will be asked to leave. So, he reassures her that he’s with her – for the time being – they spend the night together and we read her thoughts:

She looked at him sleepily, wishing she could tell him how much she loved him, but wise enough to know that she must never ever even say the word or their relationship would be finished.

No one should be in a relationship where one is scared to say “I love you”, because it will end the relationship. I doubt that she actually loves him.

My conclusion is: She is broken and he uses her. The book is full terrible, immoral, and abusive behaviour. The picture of the lifestyle painted here is not what it is or should be under any circumstances. If people would like to live as it is described, they definitely can. But that needs to be discussed with all parties involved and agreed upon.