What About Me?

What About Me?

The current NoTrueWay prompt is:

Stop “trying” to be a good sub…because that’s focusing on “you”…
Focus on Him…
His needs, His wants, His desires…
And everything will fall into place

I so want to be a good sub. The satisfacting I get when I hear “good girl” is more than I can describe in words.
That is even more true in the beginning of the relationship.
Often enough I have done something similiar to what the quote suggests. Just to get the feeling my dom was happy.

I focused so much on him that it became extremly important to me to know that his desires, needs, wants are met.
His kinks became my kinks and I did my best to find joy and satisfaction in the things that were important to him. To this days there are some of those little things that became such a part of me that I don’t even think about them.

Just one example: I love my nails and even more so when they are painted. I would try out different colours and styles. But to meet his expectations and kinks, I started painting them only red. That was more than 5 years ago and to this day I struggle to have them any other colour than red.

What can I say? The person who wrote the quoted nonsense is right with the conclusion. Everything will fall into place.

Things did fall into place. All those relationships ended.

In my opinion the idea presented in the prompt is so very wrong.
Obviously one shouldn’t only focus on oneself. A relationship, even d/s, has more than one person involved. Each person involved is important.

I love giving and making sure my partner, or dom in that case, is happy. Knowing that his needs are met is extremely important to me. That is simply my nature. I want the people around me to be happy. My friends, my partner, everyone who’s important to me.

Over the I have learnt that while being that way is not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just as acceptable to expect something similiar for myself as well.

Things won’t fall into place because one partner loses the self in the needs and wants of the other. Things will into place when both care for and support each other. And don’t forget who they themselves are and what is important to them.

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