Does a Dom need to use the word please?
I think I missed the day in sub school when they taught the lesson on doms and the usage of the word please. However I have been raised by very good parents, who taught me to always say please and thank you. And while I don’t think that something that is true for me might be true for others, some things simply are.
Common courtesy is one of those things. Saying please and thank you is not always necessary, but always appreciated. Being dominant or submissive doesn’t mean that you should use those words less or more than others.
Obviously there’s no discussion whether a sub should say please, although I think that would be interesting as well. I don’t think I use please as often as I could/should/need. I tend to use it more when I really want something. “May I have an orgasm Sir” vs “May I please have an orgasm Sir”. In both cases I want an orgasm, but in the second case I might be more desperate or needy.
When it comes to my dom, there are many situations when he says please which are not in d/s context. When he asks me to pass him something or help him in a way. Those are moments when there shouldn’t be a question of using the word. Why should it?
And within d/s moments I often find that it emphasises what he’s saying, when he adds please. Not in a needy, begging kind of way. It’s more demanding and depending on the tone can be pretty dominant.
I don’t see any reason why a dominant shouldn’t/wouldn’t/couldn’t say please. To take it further, if I’d be talking to a dom and he’s tell me that he’s not using the word please when talking to his sub, it would mean that there’s no chance we’ll ever past just talking.
Thank you Michal for saying please.