I remember seeing the term “sapiosexuality” about 2 or 3 years ago for the first time. There was an article and I read it with fascination. I love it when things, which have been on my mind or in my fantasies or feelings finally have names. It was true many years ago when I read about submission for example.
In my understanding of “sapiosexuality” it means to be attracted to someone’s intelligence, their brains, their willingness to learn.
For me, intelligence was always connected to books. You can’t be totally dumb, if you like to read books. That might be connected to my upbringing. So, blame my parents. 😉
Books represent knowledge to me. If a person is willing to read, they are willing to learn and understand and think.
I come from a home which was always filled with books. It was a natural thing. Even as a teenager, I read more book than most of my friends. I followed world and local events and was interested in history and how things came to be. Never did I think I wasn’t like everyone else. It just happened that I seemed to have many friends, who weren’t that much into books. But to be honest, I was always surprised that the other students in my class didn’t read for fun.
The importance of books for me didn’t go unnoticed. For Valentine’s Day, many, many years ago, my first boyfriend gave me chocolates and a book. He pointed out, it was because I “liked to read”. It was the book to the movie “Alien” – the one with Sigourney Weaver. Needless to say, of course I read it.
Years later, I was walking with a different boyfriend. We were talking about something and walked past a statue. He asked, who that was and I joked and said “Pushkin”. I have no idea why that name came into my mind, but it did. He looked at me and asked: “Who is Pushkin?” I laughed, until I realised he was being serious. I was a bit shocked and still can’t believe he never even heard the name.
Those are just two moments in my life which made me realise that those two young men were fun to be around with, but most likely I won’t spend my life with them. I understood that there were things I needed in a partner, if I want it to last.
Since reading that article I have, very proudly, stated that I’m sapiosexual.
That means that I’m drawn to intelligent people. Men, mostly. But I find it to Also be true with friends of any gender – mostly not in a sexual way though.
Not all men I was with were geniuses. And looking back, especially in d/s, I have been with men, who wouldn’t stimulate me on an intellectual level. They were fun or triggered my submission. Or I was simply desperate. But the ones who would capure me in a d/s and intellecual kind of way, those were only few.
Whenever I would spend time with men, who didn’t trigger my intellect or shared my love for books and stuff, I’d start getting bored quickly. It is how it is. I need to be able to have discussions about politics, history, books. I want to be able to learn new things from my partner. But at the same time I want him to also learn from me.
Give me words that make my mind curl before my toes.Rachel Wolchin
I don’t need, and don’t want, him to always be the smartest person in the room. He needs to be willing to learn something new and acknowledge that there things.
Just as I’d never think that I am smarter than anyone else, I don’t want a man like that. Those are douchebags – and often not that bright really.
Some years ago, I saw a tweet, it said:
“Let’s make books cool again. If you hook up with someone and go home with them and they don’t have books: Don’t fuck them!”
I stated it before. Intelligence makes me wet.