Submission appeals to responsible, hard working and independent women, because it takes them to a world free from those pressures.
My first thought: Bullshit!
But I couldn’t really point out what it was that annoyed me that much. All generalisations are bad. (See what I did thete?!) But that wasn’t it.
First of all, I hate it when I’m being put in a group or am labelled without my consent. Who is that person and why do they think I’m like anyone else? Of course I know that statement wasn’t made about me, because of me, or by someone who knows of my existence.
Reading what others think helped me form my opinion and get to an idea. Of course everyone is different. Each has their own way of working and their own level of independence. Maybe someone would like to be more independent or less, but life and circumstances often don’t allow us to be the way we want to be. But I’m deviating.
I knew I was submissive, but I couldn’t really name it until my early 20s. It took many more years to understand what it meant to be submissive. And more importantly, what it meant to me to be submissive. For a long time it was a struggle.
How can I, a (back then) young, modern, emancipated woman, want to submit? That’s wrong. Only after reading a variation of the statement above, I began to come to terms and accept who I am. Most of the time.
I will admit, I still struggle. A lot. For me, my submission is not a way to balance out any other part of my life. I am happy when I stand in front of people or when I make decisions or tell men what to do. And I’m just as happy when he calls me his little slut and I ask for permission for all kinds of things. I don’t need to be dominant at work in order to be submissive at home (so to speak). And I don’t see my submission as an outlet for any other part of me or my life. I’d even go so far to say that every now and then I can get submissive at e.g. work and be dominant in my relationship that happens to be d/s.
While a statement as the one quoted surely is true for some and others hope it is and some totally disagree with it, I find it to be an excuse to not feel bad about being submissive and/or independent.
“How can I, in this day and age, want to submit? Oh, it’s alright, it’s an outlet for all my hard work.” or “I feel bad that I’m submissive, but I guess that means I’m strong and independent.”
Instead of being who we are and embracing each or either or neither or a totally different side, we try to find a way to make it acceptable for society.
And that brings me to another thought: Why is it that successful, independent, strong women are submissives while successful, independent, strong men are mostly seen as dominant? Shouldn’t, by the same logic, submission appeal to them as well?
That statement makes you think that submission is meant to be a reward doesn’t it? Great post Lilly, xx
Your question has the right to be. But the answer is that many successful men are submissive.
Pingback: April Roundup – Eve's Temptations