Hope Dies Last

Hope Dies Last

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I miss him. I miss being in his arms. I miss being spanked by him. I miss laughing at the nonsense he says, while he’s next to me. I miss having dinner with him. I miss his hand around my throat. I miss his cock inside me. I miss the way he looks at me.

We haven’t been together since October 2020. And while I know others haven’t been with their partner in a much longer time, it diesnt make it easier fir me. We were spoilt. We started talking in September, met in December. Again in March and July and October.

We made plans for the summer. It seemed perfect. All I worried about were there Covid numbers in Germany. The vaccinations were going slowly and the numbers were high. The third lockdown transitioned into the forth. The UK on the other hand was doing really well.

Things started improving here. I even got my first vaccination and I calmed down. We looked for places to stay and every night I would dream of us being together again. Now everything is wrong. While we’re doing really well over here, the numbers are rising over there. There is no way for him to travel to Germany and me going doesn’t seem to be an option.

We haven’t talked about more summer plans in detail. Everyone now and then one of us asks whether it’s July yet. Yet, neither of us now whether July will actually be any different from the months before.

I try not to think about it too much. But with every day the fear that by the end of July travelling between the UK and German is still not happening becomes bigger.

Every morning an app informs me about the Covid numbers in different areas. My home town, the place my parents live, my state, their state. But also a few other countries. And every morning im disappointed by the rising number in the UK.

There still are a couple more weeks and there’s hope. I will not stop hoping that in about 37 days I will be with him again. I have no idea how and whether that is something I should dare hope, but I have to.

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