Crime and Punishment

Crime and Punishment

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As a submissive, are you willing to allow a Dominant to discipline or punish you in your relationship?
As a Dominant, are you willing to require discipline or give out punishment? What kinds of punishments can you imagine for bad behaviour?

As mentioned before. I can only offer my – aka the sub’s – point of view on these things, maybe Michael would like to write about his thoughts on that matter. So here’s the 3rd post for 30 Days of d/s: How Do You Feel About Discipline and Punishment?

As a submissive, are you willing to allow a Dominant to discipline or punish you in your relationship?

I’d like to start this post by saying how much I like the phrasing of the question. It stood out to me the moment I read it. It’s nothing I’ve ever seen before. Usually the question would be something like “Are you into punishment?” or “How do you deal with punishment?”, but here the word “allow” makes a lot of difference and shows how, in my opinion, d/s really should be.
It always has to be about what all parties involved are comfortable and excited with. And yes, contrary to popular believe, a submissive has to allow their dominant partner to do stuff to them. It does sound a bit weird, but in the end, it all comes down to consent.

As for the question.
Yes, I am very willing to allow my dominant to discipline and punish me in our d/s relationship. It is a crucial part for me. I have “tested” potential dominants in the past. I’d break a rule and see how they react. What are the consequences? Are there any? Will he see the punishment through?
All very important questions for me. Of course there are circumstances and moments, when a transgression of a rule can be ignored. But I’d have a hard time submitting to someone, if all it takes to get out of punishment is to say “I’m so sorry Sir” or make puppy dog eyes. It shows me that the person will most likely not follow through on the things they say.

To be clear, I usually don’t break rules just for the fun of it. For me rules need to have a reason and mean something. If that is the case, breaking a rule needs to have some kind of repercussion. Still the punishment needs to fit the crime and not be unreasonable. All that is a lot to consider.
Rules work very well for me, as they give me structure and guidelines I can act by. I’m sure there are plenty people out there, who don’t need that, but that is the beauty of d/s. It’s so individual and there’s no one true way.
Rules give me stability and when not following these rules has no consequences, that stability is taken away.

There’s another part in the question that stood out to me, as I reread it a few times: As a submissive, are you willing to allow a Dominant to discipline or punish you in your relationship? I would take it a bit further and add “d/s”.
While I am very happy to allow my dom to punish me within the agreed lines, there are moments and situations where it does not apply. While we are in a d/s relationship, a lot of things are not influenced by d/s.
I had experienced punishment outside of play and am very cautious when it comes to that.

I know I have failed to mention discipline at all. I have yet to understand what that really means and where the differences lie between discipline and punishment. While punishment certainly has its place in our d/s, I’d claim discipline not so much. That is what works for us so very well.

Learn more about the 30 Days of D/S at LovingBdsm

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