Today’s 30 days of d/s is perfect for me: Maintaining D/s When You’re Apart
Long distance relationships, trips without your partner, simply not living together – it all adds up to one thing: being D/s even when you’re not together. The solution you find for your relationship will be specific to you and to your circumstances, but if you’re already living through a long distance relationship or you think you might one day, it’s good to think about how to make it work when you’re apart.
Michael and I are in a LDR. It was clear from the beginning that it will be that and I don’t see anything change soon. With the way the world is right now, but also because of local life. And as any other relationship, it’s a lot of work. I’m not sure whether it’s more work than if I had him somewhere near me. But there’s no reason to think about that too much.
Being apart most of the time, means we need to find other ways to connect and be together. Rules, as pointed out before, re perfect for that. Rules force us to stay in touch, even when local life happens. And of course communications. That is vital in any relationship. There are days when er talk more and others we talk less. It’s just the way life is and we both are aware, but still make time for at least a message every now and then.
And then there are days we get to have long phone calls and maybe even a video calls. But it’s really the little messages throughout the day that keep us connected. And the knowledge that either of us will make time, if the other one needs to talk or discuss something.
After just having spend time with together, I wonder whether our d/s is stronger when we are apart. Of course there’s no way for him to punish me, if I do something wrong or am simply bratty, when he’s far away. But I feel that there are things I do more when apart from him than when we’re together.
Calling him “Sir” is something I do way more when we’re not together than when we are. There are plenty of other examples like that. I’m not sure how much it bothers him, if at all. It is something I’ve noticed, but I have to do some more thinking about it to see what that means to me.
Maybe d/s seems to be more when we are apart, because writing the words is the only way to show my submissiveness and see his dominance. When we’re together I can see the way he looks at me, feel his touch.
I said it before and I’ll say it again. LDR is hard and I’m not a fan, but I know we can make it work, because we do.
As long as we both want it.
Learn more about the 30 Days of D/S at LovingBdsm