Orgasm control encompasses a lot of different play. Begging for permission, denial, edging, forced orgasms, and even coming on demand – there’s a lot there. Some people (like us) say, “We want it all!” And others only like certain parts or orgasm control.
Probably one of the first things I learned in d/s was orgasm control.
There have been few dominants in my life, who didn’t care for a way of orgasm control. I don’t think I have even questioning it before. But now that it’s the next topic on 30 Days of d/s I think about it more.
As I mentioned before, for most of my journey through d/s it has been mostly sexual. And of course orgasms are sexual as well. So orgasm control in one way or another has always been a part of d/s for.
At the same time, I have always struggled with orgasms. That is due to the way media and school and literature and the world views female orgasms. It took me a long time to realise that it is quite common to not orgasm through penetration and that nothing is wrong with me. But that is a different topic.
I like asking for orgasms. I can’t really say why, but I enjoy it.
Again, it’s tricky and I have learned that if I’m asking when I’m too close, it ruins the orgasm. But those are things I have to find out and learn for myself. I’m quite fascinated that I’m in my late 30s and still learn things about my body.
I like asking for orgasms, because it makes him part of it, even when he’s far away. He gets to be involved. In a very different way than when we’re together, but still.
And as with other things we agree in our d/s, my orgasms and my pleasure belong to him.
I like orgasm control, because sometimes I forget that I really should have one. As I’m writing this, I can tell you I haven’t had an orgasm in a few days. And I was ordered to have one. But life is the way it is sometimes and maybe I’ll get to have one or two over the weekend.
Having orgasms ordered by him is a way to treat myself to something good, but also to look out for myself. And him looking out for me. And that is something we both enjoy.
Edging can be fun and I have actually asked for it, or at least had it in mind, before we got to see each other in July. It builds up the anticipation and I did enjoy it.
Forced or ruined orgasms though is nothing I have ever experienced. And orgasms on demand is definitely nothing that my body is ever able to do.
From those three things, the ruined orgasms are what I wonder about the most. Not because I’m curious, but because the idea scares me. As I mentioned earlier, I have my orgasm struggles. So the idea that I’m close and about to cum and have that ruined – it upsets me.
Maybe it is something I should put on my limits list…
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