In some D/s relationships, there is an agreement that the submissive will always be sexually available to their dominant. While this can be a kinky, sexy aspect of a relationship, it always requires a great deal of trust from the submissive and responsibility from the dominant.
What do you think? Does it sound deliciously sexy? Or does it not sound appealing at all?
This topic for 30 Days of d/s goes well with something I said to Michael a few weeks ago.
When we are together I do my best to not be clothed. What’s the point really?
That also has to do with the fact that I was raised in a way that there are street clothes and clothes you wear at home. One of the first things do, when coming home from work, is changing into my PJ pants. They are more comfortable and I prefer it that way. Same is true if I don’t plan on leaving the house after getting up, I will not change out of the PJs. I might put on a sweater, if I get cold though.
As I was saying, I don’t wear a full outfit when I’m with him.
So there I was. I was probably wearing a tank top and PJ bottoms. There were days before, when all I was wearing was a t-shirt. (I wonder why I even bother packing more clothes and especially panties.)
I turned to him and shared a thought which I had on my mind for a while then. I thanked him for being able to walk around wearing whatever it is that I’m wearing without any expectations of sex or even comments. What sounded perfectly logical in my mind, might not be for others. He however understood what I meant.
Trying to change into my clothes in the morning fast enough to not hear any comments (which probably weren’t even meant in a bad way) is something I’m too familiar with. It might not seem like a huge things, but a whistle or another kind of sound makes me feel uncomfortable. While I don’t mind when the man I’m with pays me a compliment every now and then. But hearing that putting on a bra or my thong arouses him every morning is unpleasant for me. Writing this makes me wonder whether I’m overreacting. But the way I feel makes it clear that I am extremely uncomfortable with it.
Now, how is that connected to today’s topic?
When feeling about sexual availability I get the very same feeling.
While aroused I might say and think and believe that I will always be available to him. It is arousing that he has all the power and uses me for his pleasure, whenever he wants.
But when I think about it with a clearer mind and what it means in RL, I panic and want to cry and run away and well, I’m not happy.
I trust Michael. More than I have trusted any man probably. And I have just recently just said to him that I could imagine waking up to him fingering me. That is something I haven’t even imagined ever before.
But the idea that I would be always, always, by default be available to him – no. I can’t do that. I can’t think about it.
Being naked around Michael doesn’t feel wrong, because I don’t feel I’m being reduced to a sex object. I don’t feel that he thinks I’m sending out any signals or anything like that and want sex just because of the way I dress or not dress.
The naked truth is that I can be naked with him and still not sexually available.
Learn more about the 30 Days of D/S at LovingBdsm