I want it all and I want it now

I want it all and I want it now

Today’s 30 days of d/s asks a simple question:

Have you heard of subfrenzy?

My answer was: No! Never heard of it. No idea what it is. I also had never heard of the word “frenzy”. So I asked Michael and also translated the word into German. And while I had never heard the word itself, I know what it describes.
I have experienced it as well as with d/s as outside of it.

Something is new and exciting. You want to try it out and immerse yourself into it. It’s very understandable.
I know that I tend to be that way. I have been in the past, but I learned to realise it – not that the realisation always helps.

Starting a new relationship is exciting. I remember that. All the hours spend talking about thoughts, ideas, wants, and needs. Knowing that many of the things I crave might happen so very soon. It’s hard to stay calm and it’s even harder to wait. I hate waiting. I want things to happen right now. I want to experience right away and not wait for them.
But just as other relationships or new things, it needs time. Time to adjust, find out how you work together. Try out one thing after the other and see. It’s really, really hard.

I want to submit right away. Give me all the rules and tasks. I can’t wait to start.
But the truth is, if that actually happens that way, I know I will be overwhelmed. I will fail and be unhappy. I will blame myself, I will probably blame my dom. That’s not fair to either of us.

Being excited is a wonderful thing. But being patient does pay off. (I can’t believe I’m actually saying that.)
Wait for the right time. Figure things out. Hope that you have all the time in the world and take one step at a time.

I have learned, I believe. But every now and then I still catch myself in that position. It’s not about the things we do in our daily d/s. It’s about when we finally get to be together. Before we meet, we talk about what either of us want to do again or try out. And no matter how much time we have, it’s never enough. There are things that don’t happen. That sucks!
But that is how life is. Sometimes the whether gets in the way or a headache or a flat tire.

Of course I’m not happy about it, but just as with other things, I have to find a way to work through is and be ok with it. The next opportunity will come. And maybe it’s for the best.
But the most important thing is to focus on everything that did happen. The spankings and laughter and love and silliness and bruising and and and.

Learn more about the 30 Days of D/S at LovingBdsm

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