Completing my 30 Days of d/s is taking me longer than 30 days. But I do my best to not pressure myself, and write whenever I can, have the time, and the idea of what I want to write about.
Today’s topic is “subspace”:
Subspace or top/dom space isn’t a guarantee every time you get kinky or in every D/s relationship. The feeling comes from the endorphins, dopamine, and other feel good chemicals our brain produces in a really intense scene. Submissives report feeling floaty while many Dominants say it gives them hyper focus. Science backs this up, too.
Just recently Michael asked me whether I had ever experienced subspace.
I have. Not often and it has been a while since I did. The more I think about it, the more I wonder whether it gets harder for me to get into subspace the older I get. I don’t necessary mean that it’s harder because of age, but because of experience. I find it harder to let go of my thoughts and allow myself to wander off and be in the moment.
But even in the past, I haven’t been in that very special space for to long.
I have read about submissive really going into subspace and staying there for a long time. Long time meaning anything longer than I. I always wondered and I also was a bit scared. Maybe not scared but cautious.
The way people experience subspace differs from person to person. Same is true for everything else. Orgasms, love, everything really.
The moments when I experienced what I assume was subspace, I was able to let go and be in that moment. Just function.
So many different things played into it. My state of mind, the surroundings, the person I was with.
I haven’t been in subspace in a long, long time.
The closest I got was when he was spanking me. I could feel relaxing and letting go, as much as my mind allows me to. Would I have been able to slide into subspace? Maybe.
I didn’t. I need words for that. Words are what put me into that nice subby space.
I remember the first time we did Mean Day™. It was Mean Week™ and he sent me a voice message. I don’t remember what he said but I remember that feeling I had for a moment.
I have always been a sucker for words, so realising that it’s words that work for me here, is not really surprising.
I know I will get to go to space again. And I look forward to it.
But I also know that there are many, many other wonderful things besides that.
Learn more about the 30 Days of D/S at LovingBdsm