Oh how I dread today’s topic of 30 days of d/s. Not because writing about it is hard, but because I hate when it happens.
|What goes up must come down. Which means sub and dom drop are real possibilities after you have intense kinky moments together. Drop won’t happen every time, and it won’t affect you the same way each time either. But it’s important to recognize what can cause it, and what it might feel like. You can’t eliminate it completely, but you can prepare for it. |
Have you ever felt a drop after kinky play? Can you come up with some ways you might help yourself or your partner through it?
I have written about subdrop before. More than once actually.
I have told the story, how I was made feel bad for feeling the way I did. Until I apologised to a man I was with, explaining to him that I might be needy and stuff within a few days after we were together. To which he replied: “Yes, that’s a drop. All good.”
Way back when, after I learned about drops and that they are normal, things made a lot more sense. It also helped me separate the wheat from the chaff. Whenever I mentioned subdrop to a potential dom and he had no idea what I’m talking about, I knew I had to move on from that one quickly.
I have also learned that after a while and with a lot of trust, I don’t drop as hard and as often. After being with the Captain for a while, I realsied I wasn’t dropping. I didn’t need as much attention and reassurance as I did before.
My drops were pretty much like clockwork. I don’t drop right away, or even after a few hours. It takes days.
Two days to be exact. No idea why, but that’s how it is. It took me a long time to realise it. I was waiting for the drop, but it didn’t happen. And then, 48 hours later, I was suddenly feeling, well, bad.
Understanding that drops are normal and knowing when to expect them and how, made my d/s life much easier. It made it easier for my partners as well.
While I haven’t had much experience as the dominant partner, I can see how it can be very helpful when the submissive knows what is happening to them and why. It’s easier to provide care and be there when you know what is happening.
Of course the topic of subdrop came up when Michael and I started talking and it became clear in which direction our conversation was moving. It is no surprise that he knew what I was talking about and wanted to know what I need and how he can be helpful.
I had some drops since I became his submissive.
Not only when we are together, but also when we had our Mean Days™. That is the reason why Mean Days™ can only be on days where we both are available and around and not busy two days later.
But it has been a while since I had a drop. One that I can actually remember.
It was last fall. We managed to spend a week together and one day was Mean Day™. I can’t say for sure that it was two days after, but I can still picture myself on the bed. I was starting to feel not good. He was cooking and he did something wrong. Not the way I need it to be. (I’m not being difficult here, but there are some things I need to pay attention to.)
I got really upset.
Just recently I realised how upset I was. Because he mentioned that “mistake” and how he’ll never make it again.
After I got upset, I understood that I was dropping.
I didn’t understand it before. So the result was that I was already so worked up and into it that I couldn’t explain it there and then. I guess, it’s never too late.
What a lot of people seem to forget or not realise is that dom-drops are real too.
Doms too get on a high, they are excited and happy and end up dropping. It is important for domdrops to become are normal and accepted as subdrops.
D/s is a relationship and we need to help each other, be there for each other and support each other.
Learn more about the 30 Days of D/S at LovingBdsm