You can’t be a submissive and a feminist
I love it when someone tells me what I can or can not do or be. My instant reaction is to prove them wrong. In some cases that is easier done than in others. At the same time I realise that this reaction can also lead to doing stuff, I shouldn’t. But I feel I need to make a point.
O have been thinking about this statement for a while. And while I have written about it before, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write now. But then I took a shower. And like so many times before that was, when I had an idea.
Maybe it’s the hot water or the relaxing feeling, but I often find these moments very inspiring. So there I was. The water running down my body and my thoughts wandering.
I have a problem with the statement. Besides the obvious one. It’s wrong. The wording is wrong. The question is not whether one can be a submissive and a feminist at the same time. It should be:
Can one be a feminist and a submissive?
Where’s the difference here? Does it really matter which word is the first one? I believe it does. One who is submissive isn’t necessarily a feminist. Doesn’t have to be. Being a submissive doesn’t automatically enable me to be a feminist. It really are two unconnected things for me. While it is a different story the other way around.
Being a feminist is what makes all the difference. Being a feminist enables you to be anything you want. Being a feminist and believing in feminsm means that you can choose. You can choose to be a CEO or a kindergarten teacher – and feel good about your choice. You can have no kids or be a stay-at-home-mom – and feel good about your choice. You can feel good about your choice because it is just that.
Not something society tells you is right or your parents or you partner. You get to decide. And you get to decide what makes you feel good and also what makes you feel uncomfortable. What makes you happy and what doesn’t.
Being a feminist enables me to be a submissive or a domme or a switch. Being a feminist enables me to be kinky, because I am. Or not to be into kink, because I’m not. Being a feminist enables me to be me and enjoy the things I do.
Even if that means I get humiliated and slapped and cut and used and bruised and so many other things.
Because, at the same time, it also means I get to be loved and cared for and most importantly, respected.