Doms always have to be the “adult in the room” even during a break up. The flip side of power is responsibility.
I have things to say about the current NoTrueWay prompt. But then I read Michael’s post about it and I also have things to say about that. Where do I start? I guess with my thoughts on the prompt and then my thoughts on Michael’s post.
The prompt is the answer to a thread posted on Twitter.
A d/s relationship is a relationship with consenting adults. All of the people involved are adults. And that is the important part. All parties involved are that, adults. While the dynamics during the relationship or certain times within the relationship, may be different, it never changes. Everyone involved is an adult. All the time. Even in dd/lg lifestyles.
Speaking from my own experience, I can say that being an adult and acting like one are to very different things. I have my moments which one might expect from adolescents, but not a full grown woman. Working, rather successful, with her own kids. Being adult doesn’t stop me from being stupid and do and say stupid things.
When it comes to break-ups, people are unpredictable. It’s true. I used to date a guy, who told me that he’d break up with women to see how they’d react and act. To this day, I think that’s pretty stupid and horrible.
When someone breaks up with us, it hurts. We all have different ways to cope and not all are the highroad. In my experience, I can say that people who identify as dominats aren’t always acting like adults. They too get hurt. They are human beings and like everyone else, they might do something stupid. Or worse.
On the other hand, being a submissive doesn’t mean you can hide behind that. As a submissive I am as responsible as the dominant. A submissive will react to a break-up in the way they do. Just like the dominant.
Both, the submissive and the dominant have power each in their own way. But I would phrase the prompt’s sentence in a different way:
…The flip side of adulthood is responsibility.
Now, as for Michael’s post.
He drives me insane. With his constant need to be the adult and fixing everything. Especially the fixing everything part. Often enough I can’t do something on my own and I ask him for help. What I need is to be shown how it is done, so I understand and can do it myself. Michael loves helping and fixing. He’ll go above and beyond to fix the problem.
As for the many other things he writes in his post. I know that he feels the way he does, but I disagree that it s to be this way.
I have no expectation of him always being strong. I am strong, I can be strong when I have to. And I also want to be strong when he needs to be not strong or even weak. I need him to feel and know that he can rely on me and be able to express whatever and however he feels in that moment.
I have no expectations of him always being strong. Neither do I want or need him to be that. I don’t need a knight in shining armor. I need a partner. I don’t need reassurance that everything will be ok. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. And every now and then I want someone to freak out with me. Or me to be the calming voice.
Michael ssays that people thinks he doesn’t worry. But I believe he’s mistaken. He doesn’t want people to think he does, so he doesn’t show. But we see and we know. I want him to share with me when he worries and he should.
Sir, my love, I need to know when you worry. I need you to express your concerns and feelings. Always. Because we are two adults, in a relationship.
And in a side note: You might say you reject adulthood, but a part of you is an adult. And you can’t help it.