“What would you like to do when you’re here?”
“Would you like to visit places?”
“Is there anything particular you’d like to to do kink-wise?”
“What would you like me to cook you?”
Last week I was driving and on the phone with Michael. I finally managed to take some time off and book a flight. In about 4 weeks I will be visiting him and Molly. I will be staying there for quite a while. Longer than before. I’m very excited and part of me can’t believe it really.
With the visit, comes the planning. While I haven’t started to think about what I will pack, Michael started thinking on what we could do. And eat. He often asks me questions like that. Before I visit and also when I’m there.
“What would you like for breakfast?” My usual response is “What are the options?” This usually gets me an eyeroll. In my defence, what is the point of saying I want something specific for breakfast, when he doesn’t have it or is missing ingredients. It’s also easier to decide when I know what the choices are.
Then there are those moments he asks what to make for dinner and wants me to decide. I can hear the conversation as I write about it. “What would you like for dinner, my little slut?” – “Something yummy.” – He sighs. He tries to get me to make a decision and this usually ends with me saying: “There’s a reason I am a submissive. This way I don’t need to make decisions.”
Depending in his mood, he might start explaining that values my opinion and wants me happy and and and.
The currents NoTrueWay prompt speaks about making decisions:
By taking the role of a true submissive, you decide to allow your dom to make all the decisions.
So, no — you shouldn’t have an opinion, suggestion, idea, or anything.
It was just today that I realised how fitting last week’s conversation was. Now let us look at that quote and the many little insanities in it.
True submissive
How do I loathe this. It’s right up there with “real women”.
What is that even supposed to mean? Who is decided what is true submission and what is not? Does not doing things a certain way make me a fake submissive? It might in the eyes of some, but I don’t care about them. The only people’s opinion I care about are the people involved, aka me and the person I submit to.
All the decisions
How does that work? I do ask permission make any purchase – like groceries? Do I ask permission how I raise my children? Do I ask permission when it’s work related? Do I have to ask permission or their opinion when taking a different road to my destination? ALL the decisions is not practical and not doable.
No opinion
Oh boy do I have an opinion in that!
I might not always state my opinion, I always have one. Sometimes I even change it. And every now and then my opinion differs from his. And why wouldn’t it? We are two different people, with different experiences and backgrounds. We don’t have same opinion on politics for example. And that is perfect that way. This way we can have discussions and learn from each other and disagree.
How boring would it be, if I would always agree? And more importantly, how unhappy would I be, if I couldn’t have my own opinion?
No suggestions
Yes, I enjoy when he decides for me. It takes away some of the pressure I sometimes feel. But not even being allowed to make suggestion?
I do enjoy the occasional suggestion. “How about you do it that way?” or “How about you prepare the food like this?” Often enough, my suggestions can be translated into “How about you just do it my way?” I guess, telling my dom to do something my way makes me a very bad submissive 😉
Conclusion
I hate making decisions. Sometimes. And at other times I love that I am in a position where I HAVE to make decisions. People look out for me to make decisions and I love that they follow what I say.
At the same time, Sir and I negotiated that there are certain things I ask permission for. Some things he wanted, like orgasms. Others I suggested, like meeting friends.
Food control is something we do. He tried it, stopped and gave it another go. And like with all the other big and small things within our d/s, there is a time and a place. And most importantly, there is common sense and trust.
See more posts for EveryDamnDayInJune:
Yes to it all. My Kitten’s service to me has her making decisions all the time. My job is to see that her needs are taken care of so she can serve. This includes making sure she drinks enough water, eats her calories, and gets some sleep. Then again she is also a brat and I expect her to talk back and not take orders well, so I don’t make commands. Her immediate response is “No, and you can’t make me!” And she would be correct. So what is a true submissive? Some one who decides to be subservient to someone they see as their Dom. What is it to be a Dom? To know when to dominate and where, with what. There is no easy way. It is a fluid dynamic. Like most good things. It grows and changes with the immediate needs.