I wrote a post about me saying “yeah, yeah, yeah”. If course I was aware of Sir reading my posts and I knew writing about the topic will lead to it being revisited. Today is the day.
Today is Mean Day™. There are things to do and permissions to ask and a topic to wrote about. As I mentioned before, he has told me he’s not pleased when I say “yeah, yeah yeah”. The promised talk about it is yet to come. I however am tasked to write about why he is not pleased when I say those words.
As often, I believe it is a language thing. When I say it, I don’t mean it in a dismissive way. While I think this is how he understands it. English is not my first language. Over the years I have gotten pretty good at it and have a feeling for the language, I still miss little things. I say things I mean in a certain way, but a native English speaker will understands the same words very differently.
Words mean things. They way we say words also has meaning. As much as the things we don’t say. When I say “yeah, yeah, yeah”, it is similar to “yeah sure”, maybe an eye roll. And yes, maybe I also say it because it causes an reaction from him.
I can’t say what message he hears when he hears me say it, but there is a possibility that it sounds dismissive, disrespectful, and probably other words starting with “dis”.
Sir and I are in a d/s relationships. There are certain rules which are always in place. Those rules have to do with how I behave, how I talk, and what I say. That might sound weird to non-d/s people or even people within the lifestyle, but truth be told, there is no real difference to a “normal” relationship.
Being in a relationship with another person means respecting them. And this is shown is many different way, also in the way everyone involved communicates. Trying your best not I hurt your partner with your actions, or words, is common sense. That also means not using words or expression you know are disliked by them.
This goes both ways – or whatever number of people are involved in the relationship. And still that is true for d/s. I expect Sir to be respectful towards me, not to say or do things which will upset or hurt me. Of course we both screw up and hurt the other one. But we both do our best to learn from it.
Where is the difference between a “normal” relationship and a d/s themed one? There are consequences, painful usually, for me, when I do say things he dislikes. Of course, it is all consensual. It always is.
So, why is he not pleased when I say “yeah, yeah, yeah”? Because for him, in his understanding, it might sound disrespectful. That should and is reason enough for me to do my best and work on not saying it again. Will I succeed? Sure. Will I screw up and say it again? Most likely. But I will apologise and be more careful.
While I will work on myself, I still hope that Sir and I will have a talk one day soon and he will explain to me how it makes him feel when I say it and why it makes him feel that way. I’m sure once I understand it better, it will be easier for me to not say it again. Because I want him to be happy and feel that I respect him because I do.
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