Handle Me

Handle Me

Marilyn Monroe (photograph)
Marilyn Monroe (photograph) by Cecil Beaton is licensed under CC-BY-NC-ND 4.0

Yesterday Michael texted something:

If I can’t handle how you feel. I don’t deserve you

It doesn’t really matter what we were talking about. The past few days weren’t easy. There were tears and talks and hurting and more talking and love and texts and and and.
I knew he was hurting too. So I told him I was sorry. To that he replied that I was simply sharing my feelings and the he said:

If I can’t handle how you feel. I don’t deserve you.

There is this Marilyn Monroe:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.

That was what I had to think of right away. My response to what he said was that I don’t believe this to be correct. I mean, he’s not totally wrong, but I disagree with the idea. While someone’s feelings should not be ignored and always be considered. Especially when you’re in a relationship with them, it’s not easy.
Other people’s feelings and emotions can be overwhelming. To the person feeling it and to others.

I know that I happen to have feelings which I hard to explain, hard to process, hard to deal with, hard to handle. If that is hard for me – and I’m the one experiencing it – how much harder must it be for another person? They only experience it second hand. Some of the thoughts, backstory, and previous history is missing for them. They might not be able to understand why I act the way I do, feel the way I feel.

And what I feel, the emotions a situation causes me can hurt others and I don’t expect another person to to able handle my emotions right away. If I can’t do it, why would anyone else?
The only thing I can expect is that my partner tries to understand what it is I’m going through. But that might take time. Just as it takes time for me.

If someone doesn’t care for your feelings, it is true, they don’t deserve you. But not being able to handle how someone feels (right away) does not mean the same thing. It only means that it’s not always easy. And that is ok. As long as there is the desire to understand and care and love.

And as per Marilyn’s quote:
I often can’t handle myself at my worst, how should anyone else?

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