You should stand in a way that will make you appear smaller. For example, lowering your shoulders and keeping your head down.
Looking at your dom directly in the eyes might look rude and arrogant, which is not a good sub trait. So, keep your eyes on the ground.
I’m not a very tall person. I’ve been around (adult) people shorter than me, but not many. Most people are taller. I might not like it, but there’s not much I can do. Some things one can’t change. One of the reasons I’m not always happy about my height is that taller people often are heard more, looked up to (both literally and figuratively), taken more serious. But I guess often being one of the youngest people in the room doesn’t help either.
When it comes to d/s on the other hand, my height wasn’t the worst thing. Looking up to my dom – that’s nice. Not necessarily being smaller, but making myself smaller. Is it what you see in all the pics with d/s context. The submissive is kneeling or lower in any other way while the dominant is pictured in a way that they appear higher. That might work in high protocol relationships. But let’s be honest, I’m not made for that. It can be fun for a while, but I wouldn’t be happy in the long run.
Recently, thinking back, I realised that I have been making myself smaller in RL for a long time. Over the past few years this started to change. It’s small steps, but looking back, I see that I have come a long way.
For example, one of the things described in the prompt: Keeping my eyes on the ground. I had noticed that I lower my eyes way to often. Instead of looking straight ahead and focus on what I want or where I want to go to. It’s a learning process. I have to remind myself over and over again.
Appearing arrogant when looking up, saying what one wants or disagreeing is something I have come across mostly in connection with women. Meaning, women are seen as arrogant when they do any of those things, while men are not viewed that way. The older I get, the less I care and begin to speak up, look into other people’s eyes – also people with more authority than I have.
Interestingly enough I never stayed with a dominant long enough when this is what he wanted. If we even started seeing each other. I usually was seen as too much of a brat, too difficult, not easy to handle, or simply not a true submissive.
As I said before, the idea written in the prompt might work for some. It really, really, really doesn’t work for me. And if doesn’t work for you, there’s nothing wrong with you. You are who you are.
Stay true to yourself.
If the concept doesn’t feel right, it simply means, it’s not for you and you shouldn’t trying to fit into something you’re not.
As I was finishing the post and looked for a picture, I had an additional thought.
Looking straight into my dom’s eyes can be wonderfully playful. I can provoke him, challenge him on who is more stubborn. But at the same time, looking straight into his eyes can deliver all the submission I feel. I don’t need to make myself smaller or lower my eyes or shoulders. I can be on the same height, look into his eyes, my shoulders straight, and be proud – and be my most submissive self. Because it can all be in the look.
