Sadly I have to let you all know that Michael is not a very good dominant. Really, really bad. I’ve never been with a dominant who is that bad at it. Some came rather close, but he fails at it on a totally different level.
Let me explain what I mean. To illustrate how he fails, I will use this week’s NoTrueWay prompt:
Try not to apologise. When you are in your role, you are doing as you wish. That also means you “can’t go wrong” and that you should never apologise for what you said or did.
I don’t think I have ever been with a dominant partner who apologised as often as Michael does. I have also never been with anyone that long and that intensely, but that is besides the point. Telling me he’s sorry is not a problem for him.
He might even take it so far as to drive me insane with this, but I know that he means it every time.
He apologises and admits when he’s wrong. Shocking and un-domly, I know. At least according to the person who wrote the nonsenses used in the current NoTrueWay. Real greatness is not about being always right and to never go wrong. It’s about learning and growing. And for that one has to make mistakes.
Admitting to a mistake is not easy. I know that very well. I have no problem saying I’m sorry and apologising. Not too much really. But admitting when I’m wrong… That is a whole other story. While I might not like to admit when I’m wrong, I know it’s the right thing to do.
Same is true for everyone else. No one likes to be wrong. But you can’t have a relationship where this doesn’t work.
And when it comes to d/s, I believe, understanding one’s mistakes, admitting them and learning from them is crucial.
A dominant who is never ever wrong is either a genius, who knows their sub really well, or delusional. I want to bet that in 100 out of 100 cases, it’s the latter.
Sure, do as you wish, as long as it’s negotiated and consensual. But you will screw up and fail and disappoint. As a result, you will need to apologise. Because you did something wrong or you said the wrong words. Words can be as painful and bad as actions. No human being is without fail. Being a dominant doesn’t make one super-human.
Owning one’s mistakes will make the dom a better dom, and partner, than pretending to never be able to go wrong.
As I said, Michael is not a very good dom.
He is the best.