…just to confuse people.Tamora Pierce
I have been neglecting my own meme. I have also been neglecting my blog, but the love I fail to give the meme I run hurts me more. But I have a few free minutes and I thought, I could use the time to share some thoughts.
The most important female virtue
I’m not disobedient. Not that people could tell. I have always enjoyed pushing limits and boundaries. But rarely have to gone too far. But that is talking about laws and things like that. I have done bad things. I was careful enough not to get caught though. But that is not what the quote is talking about.
This quote is talking about obedience being something that is mainly connected to women. Women should wait their turn and do as expected of them. Of course the first thing which popped into my head as I am writing this is: Women should do as MEN expect them to do and be as MEN expect them to be.
If obedience is a female virtue it is pretty clear whom they should be obedient to – men.
Now, I assume, all of my readers agree that this is bullshit.
And while this quote is so clearly a very misogynistic view, I have experienced views similar to this also from women. When that happens, it’s extra hard. There is this hope that all women are my allies. We all want the same thing and don’t wish harm or bad things on each other. But still.
There are different reason why there are women who hold the opinion that the quote is true. Some were raised in a time and place when it was the only way, other didn’t have the freedom to break free of such ideas and might now dislike the new generation of women who do – and aren’t obedient.
When I looked for a quote or a saying for a title for this post, I came across so many quotes about obedience connected to faith and god or how good obedience is. But the one I used really spoke to me.
It’s not that I’m disobedient all the time, but as I said, I like to see how far I can go. Where is the limit? How much can I get away with?
For me there is only one thing obedience is connected to and that is d/s. Because here I chose to be obedient to my dominant. And I chose the consequences and all connected to it. But that is the point.
This has nothing to do with me being a woman and him a man. It has all to do with choice and agreement and respect. This is the very important difference. I obey him, because that is what we both enjoy, and for no other reason.