Category: <span>Real</span>

Category: Real

A promise never kept

black text on gray background
Photo by Pixabay on

There’s something I’ve been promised by a couple of people (men), but the promise was never kept.

To write something for me.

Why is it such a big deal?

I find it a very personal thing to do. It’s like making a mixed tale for someone. (Which I also have been promised, by a boy in high school, with whom I was madly in love. And I never got it…)
The person has to sit down, think about yourself. He has to care enough for you to concentrate on you. To wonder what you would like to hear or read. It needs time to be put into nice words, good sentences. It has to fit all well. And I it’s really good, one feels that it’s about you and for you.

As the mixed tape in high school, I never got a story or something similar.

For almost 2 years my ex told me he would write for me, but was never inspired to do so. I should mention that he writes for a living.
I’ve been with other men. I’ve seen them writing for their ex-girlfriends, ex-subs etc. and also for the new ones after me. But need for me.

Why I am so upset about it?

I am not sure. It has to do with promises which weren’t kept and with the feeling that all these men didn’t care enough to actually spend some time thinking about me and writing a little something.
Not a story, not even something describing him and me together.

It upsets me. And what upsets me even more is that the more I think about it, the more I come to a realisation, which I don’t like and have been trying not to have for a long time.

It has to be me. I am not memorable enough. Not inspiring enough. Not important enough. Simply not good enough.

The belt

There I was. Lying on the hotel bed. I was naked. Wearing nothing but my black hold-ups. Even though it was cold outside, I didn’t need a blanket. The heat from the sex I just …

What I look for in a Dom?

anonymous person with binoculars looking through stacked books
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on

A few days ago I asked my followers on Twitter what it is that they want/need in a Dom.
I got a few interesting replies as well as some with which I was not really satisfied with. But after a couple of days of thinking I came to realise that it´s different things we all look for, as we all are not the same. For some people it might be important that they can do also vanilla things with their Dom, while others don´t care about it at all.
Some need to be pushed by a Master and other want him to know the limits.
The list just goes on and on and on.
But I´m not here to write about the needs and wants of other people, I´m here to write about mine.

So, what is it that I look for in a Dom, a Master?

I have understood that I am NOT looking for a real life Dom somewhere near. Not now anyway. I don´t have the time for it. I just started working again and I have other things that need to be taken care of. I know that an online D/s relationship also needs a lot of time and effort, but it is different and I know from experience that I can do it.

I am not looking for someone to fall in love with. Not in the common vanilla way.
I need someone who I can respect and who respects me, with all my
weird ideas and habits.
I need someone who is willing to REALLY get to know me. Because only someone who understands me can push me and can know how far he can go and what he can do with me.
I need to feel safe with him.
A lot of words and still I am not sure that I really said anything…